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Thread: Confessions

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
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    8,283

    Confessions

    Its late. Mets lost. Im feeling Melancholy. I was speaking to a friend and he called me a bad person. I never thought this particular thing made me a bad person but it made me think. Maybe I need to cleanse my soul. I need to confess.
    For years I was a thief. Petty theft really. But over the years I thieved heavily which was probably a span of 2-3 years. I probably stole around 1 million dollars of merchandise. At the time if I wanted it, it was mine. I didnt do anything special. I just had a really big purse and even bigger balls. I got so comfortable and confident that Id walk straight out of stores with items in my hands. If you've seen me, I think I might come off that confident irl. No one would think twice that I didnt pay for the lamp I was walking out of the store with. I stole expensive foods like hemp hearts... why are hemp hearts so ****ing expensive!!! I stole housewares, clothes, shoes, make up, and if there was a gift i needed to get someone, Id steal that too.

    Anyway, you get the point. Tonight for the first time. I felt bad about it. Only because I was called a bad person by someone I think is very nice. I know Im not. Im just a brat because I always got what I wanted. I could still be a part of the thieves guild if I wanted to but Im not. I dont need to be. There. I cleansed my soul. Thanks for being a witness. Maybe my friend will forgive me.

    The Mic is open.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
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    I have stolen **** before too, decades ago, nothing big or too expensive and then I had **** stolen from me and I figured it was karma getting back at me.

    As for being a good person?

    I dunno I am pretty selfish in many ways so.......

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
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    He said i was bad. Worse than someone who just stole a candy bar. When he said that I literally giggled out loud uncontrollably. I thought him thinking I was a bad person was the silliest thing ever. Im not a bad person. I have done bad stuff. Really bad stuff. Worse than stealing. Petty theft aint no ****ing thing.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sick Of It All View Post
    I have stolen **** before too, decades ago, nothing big or too expensive and then I had **** stolen from me and I figured it was karma getting back at me.

    As for being a good person?

    I dunno I am pretty selfish in many ways so.......
    Every one is selfish. Some people are good at supressing it. Not me. I will get my ****ing way the way i want it.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by marychristine View Post
    Every one is selfish. Some people are good at supressing it. Not me. I will get my ****ing way the way i want it.
    At least youíre self aware.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    45,142

    Confessions

    Stealing as an adult is ****ed up. Stealing stuff and gifting it to someone is also ****ed up. If you actually stole $1 million in merchandise (which I doubt), and tonight is the first time that you felt about it, then that is pathetic.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Last edited by Driven; 08-29-2019 at 07:23 AM.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    parts unknown
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    41,215
    Never done anything bad


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Rep Power: 0




    Quote Originally Posted by Raps08-09 Champ View Post
    My dick is named 'Ewing'.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    82,174
    Iíve stolen the hearts of tens of thousands of women all over the world. I donít feel bad at all.

  9. #9
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    Dec 2005
    Location
    Rogers Centre
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    Lived with my ex for a few years. When she dumped me she confessed that she didnít have feelings for me for the last year or two of the relationship. She was just sticking around because it was easy.

    She ended up dumping me 1 day before she left for a 2 week vacation with her friend. A few days after that I downloaded tinder, brought a girl home and ****ed her in the bed my ex and I slept in. Jizzed all over it too. When she got back from her trip she packed up her stuff and left. Including the bed.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sick Of It All View Post
    At least youíre self aware.
    Self awareness:
    I am
    Selfish
    Stubborn
    Silly
    Sad
    Strange
    Stealer
    Succubus

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Driven View Post
    Stealing as an adult is ****ed up. Stealing stuff and gifting it to someone is also ****ed up. If you actually stole $1 million in merchandise (which I doubt), and tonight is the first time that you felt about it, then that is pathetic.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Did I steal from you? You know what? Like I said before... i dknt even feel bad about stealing. I feel bad that he said I was a bad person. I still dont feel bad. Might steal something today if I want to.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    32,194
    Watch this

    These are my confessions
    Just when I thought I said all I could say I came up up with more secrets to tell you today
    These are my confessions
    Slip my mind the last two times
    Silly me, so now I gotta give you part three of my confessions
    First I told you about the skank that I was cheating with,then I mentioned she's having my kid
    That's not all, now I recall more you see, so I'll give you part three of my confessions

    Now this is gonna be the hardest thing I ever had to do,
    Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two
    Like remember when I told you I knew Paulie Shore (Paulie Shore)
    That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for
    I borrowed your chapstick (from you)
    Without asking I tried out your nose hair trimmer (too)
    And by the way your diamond ring is cubic circonium,
    I killed your goldfish accidentally, just replaced it with another one

    These are my confessions
    Just when I thought I said all I could say I needed to get some things off my chest right away
    These are my confessions
    Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions
    I threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink
    There have been times when I've peed in your sink
    Don't know why, but you and I should agree that belongs in part three of my confessions

    Baby forgive me I'm still trying to figure out why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grought
    Oh and sometimes in private, I really like to dress up as Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick)
    My boss thinks I'm a jerk, I didn't get that raise.
    I haven't changed my underwear in twenty-seven days!
    And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you as a midget
    I'm so sorry Debbi! I mean Bridget!

    These are my confessions
    Just when I thought I said all I could say I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey
    These are my confessions
    Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions
    Gave you buttered toast I dropped and then picked up off the floor
    FYI it was not a cold sore
    Oops my bad, but you'll be madder at me when I finish part three of my confessions

    You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this, but remember that shirt that you got me for my birthday?
    Well, I returned it for store credit. That thing was hideous, what were you thinking?
    O and by the way, I wasn't really sick last week,
    I just didn't wanna go to your stupid office picnic
    Oh and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of rice krispies,
    What I meant was that there was only enough left for me. Sorry.

    These are my confessions
    Just when I thought I said all I could say, I thought of some more things that should scare you away
    These are my confessions
    Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions
    Once I blew my nose and wiped it on your cat
    And I lied, yes that dress makes you look fat
    Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore 'til I give you part four of my confessions

  13. #13
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    Jun 2019
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    Quote Originally Posted by R. Johnson#3 View Post
    Lived with my ex for a few years. When she dumped me she confessed that she didnít have feelings for me for the last year or two of the relationship. She was just sticking around because it was easy.

    She ended up dumping me 1 day before she left for a 2 week vacation with her friend. A few days after that I downloaded tinder, brought a girl home and ****ed her in the bed my ex and I slept in. Jizzed all over it too. When she got back from her trip she packed up her stuff and left. Including the bed.
    Thats awful. Im sorry.
    All I can say is... good for you. Its better that shes gone. A great confessional. Thank you.

  14. #14
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    Jun 2019
    Posts
    8,283
    @goingfor28... gtfo of my confession thread. Delete that ****. This is serious.
    If you dont have a real confession... i have no time for that ****. Go away.
    Last edited by marychristine; 08-29-2019 at 09:55 AM.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    East of the Sun, West of the Moon
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    29,692
    Not many that I have not already confessed to, like:

    • Stealing $200 from an employer when I was 21.
    • ****ing a married woman for six months.
    • Smelling the TP after I wiped.

    The only one left is that when I was made to go to confession by my parents I would make up **** that I did so that I would have something to confess, but I never confessed that I was a liar to the priest so for that I'll probably burn.
    ďIt is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, at least fails while daring greatly.Ē -- Teddy Roosevelt

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