Like us on Facebook


Follow us on Twitter





Page 1 of 7 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 95
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    south
    Posts
    6,546

    Dancing Delights & (Near-) Disasters Amidst Wild & Crazy Two-Legged Animals

    Thread Intro:
    IT'S ALL HER FAULT !
    What you ask?
    That my/our life is a never-ending, continuous extreme ride with all these incredible
    "Wild & Crazy Two-Legged Animals"
    - - - - - -
    I've been incredibly happily married for almost 30 years to one of the most female females that ever existed.

    btw, this is definitely NOT "braggin' on myself". Frankly, I ain't ugly; but the only time people say I'm handsome is if they're being polite or it's my baby telling me so, ("Love IS Blind")

    What's so female about her, you wanna know?

    1) You can't take your eyes off her;

    2) And then she gets dressed and you wanna rip those clothes right off of her;
    (Among her many artistic skills, she's a clothes-designer; and she KNOWS how to Dress To Kill);

    3) SHE NEVER SAYS "NO"
    (so, no exaggeration, every morning and every evening, we get down, no HOLES barred).

    4) When She Cums, She Cums In Rainbows, In Max. Volume Symphonies;

    5) She's super-affectionate (hugs, kisses, hand-holding, & all night long physical contact)

    6) She loves men; just beams out sheer-beauty if a handsome guy smiles at her;
    (When guys see her, they automatically go into Heat. They imagine doing everything to/with her. They "KNOW" that she'd keep begging for more and rougher.)

    7) Little kids can't keep their eyes and hands off her either
    (To them, she looks and acts like the most wonderful doll; they'll come up to talk and they touch her shiny and/or unusual outfits to see how they feel. They ask her the most marvelous questions about anything and everything. All this, while treating her as if she's their age. It's just the cutest thing to behold.)

    *
    - - - -
    Imagine dancing (with her) in some 50 towns a year, 3 nights a weekend, for 8 consecutive years.
    Add in that we "perform" as Mariachis (in front of crowds who tend to get higher/drunker by the hour).

    That's 1,000 afternoons and nights of Dancing Delights & (Near-) Disasters "amidst the masses".

    Imagine what affect she has on every last guy around. Imagine how they then act.

    This thread, then, will be a re-counting (with ZERO embellishment) of Our Many Wild Adventures.

    Hope you enjoy,
    Pablo (for both of us)

    P.S. Before I set up this thread, I had already started to write up some of these moments and posting them in another thread. So, I'll copy some of those posts over to here, where they more-rightly belong.

    If you're familiar with the average length of my posts; you'll know that I'm NOT trying to pad my post-count. So hopefully, I won't get in trouble with the mods if I re-post a few of my earlier posts.

    P.P.S. I Dedicate This Thread To PSD's Mod-Team & PSD's Mass Of Posters; Thanx For Having Me

    * 8) She smells like wild honey
    (How could I have forgotten THE single thing the most makes her "uniquely" female. She doesn't wear any perfume; but, boy, if you get near enough to her! Guys go into heat; women feel embarrassed thinking it must be them. When she climbs into a car, the guys automatically start acting super-macho: getting all enthusiastic, pounding each other, joking, yelling. And, when it's just the two of us alone, I can't stay away from her, can't stay off of her.)
    Last edited by Pablonovi; 04-28-2014 at 07:15 PM. Reason: added P.P.S.; added asterix

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    south
    Posts
    6,546

    What The BLEEP Is That Kid Doing Lying Down In The Middle Of The Dance Floor???

    Picture (or don't) , if you will (or won't), the first set, of the first dance of the first night of the weekend of the annual Town Fiesta ("Fiesta Patronal"; Festival of the town's patron saint).

    The band strikes the very first note; and, while 100s of people watch (too shy to start dancing yet); one couple is out there dancing. We feel the responsibility to do this; so that the ice gets broken right from the start; so people get in the best moods and do their most and best dancing. And, if they don't/can't dance: enjoy the f_ck out of watching those that do.

    And THERE, right in the middle of the dance floor, lying on the cement (a not exactly perfectly clean surface) is some kid (around 8 years old, boy or girl). What the BLEEP are they doing there???

    It never ceases to blow me/us away.
    First, that anybody would lie down on an un-swept public surface.
    Second, that it's a young kid.
    Third, that NOBODY tells them to get the BLEEP out of there.

    because;
    Fourth, EVERYBODY KNOWS what that kid is "up to". He/she is looking upwards and waiting; and waiting; and waiting.

    and then,
    Fifth, we come dancing by ...

    and BINGO
    Sixth, the kids sees what he/she is out there waiting to see (what my baby does and doesn't have underneath her skirt).

    Seventh, the kid gets up quickly and goes running over to a group of eagerly-waiting adults.

    Eighth, within 2-3 minutes, the whole town knows EXACTLY what the kid saw, down to the color of her undies (if she's wearing any); and they KNOW FOR SURE (if she isn't wearing any).

    and, lastly,

    Ninth, the Heat Is On! Every last couple pours into the dance area; every last one of them pressed as tightly as possible together. The non-dancers have surrounded the dance-floor, getting as close as they can. People scream and laugh and scream and laugh.

    AND DANCE & SHINE ALL NIGHT LONG.
    Last edited by Pablonovi; 04-27-2014 at 09:07 PM. Reason: added bolding

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    south
    Posts
    6,546

    Driven By Coyotes To A "Town-Saving" Dance Amidst 25 Machine Gunners

    HITCH-HIKING THRU A BROILING DAY SUN & A FREEZING EVENING WIND
    We had been hitchhiking all day; it went way slow. We lost 6 hours at one country intersection at mid-day under a broiling sun. Hours later, our last ride was in the back of a pick-up with a group of drug-traffickers. It was winter, it got late, an unexpected super-cold front had come in, and we froze our azzes off in the back. Then they decided to NOT take us all the way to the very remote town (after having promised they would).

    They dropped us off at 9 pm, in pitch black. We were shaking from the cold; we were exhausted; and my baby got plenty irritable (a very uncommon occurrence).

    In the dark, we were pretty sure we might not be able to find our way up the rock/dirt road, all the way up the mountain to the town (I figured it was gonna be an 1.5 hour climb.)

    COYOTES TO THE RESCUE ???
    Soon after we started walking up, we heard the growls and hoots and "laughs" of a pack of coyotes not far at all behind us.

    The adrenaline rush was the key missing ingredient; boy did that get us in gear!

    So you could say they drove us away to the dance.

    HAVE WE LOST OUR WAY? WHY CAN'T WE HEAR MUSIC IN THE DISTANCE?

    We didn't hear any music along the way; increasing our concern that we had taken a wrong turn in the dark.

    We got there at 10:20 and discovered the real reason we hadn't heard any music. No one was dancing; the band had quit playing because of that.

    A DEMORALIZED TOWN; EVEN MORE BUMMED OUT BECAUSE WE HADN'T SHOWN UP
    The town (of less than 1,000 people was demoralized because drug-gangs had fought over the place and ended up killing a 9 year old boy (a good friend of ours); along with "taking possession" of a number of the young women (single or not). The gang that had won the shoot-out, now wore "Police Department" uniforms! There were more machine-gun toting men in the plaza than there were people hoping to dance.

    Then, when the dance hadn't materialized, the demoralization only deepened. (it's the only party all year long; so they combine in that one weekend: All that year's worth of baptisms, marriages, birthdays, and the annual "Fiesta Patronal" (Patron Saint's Festival)).

    Other than the paid musicians, we are the only people who ever come from out-of-town for their Festival.

    LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED
    We asked a friend to put on some music on his stereo. We started dancing (fully clothed, head to foot). People sent the word out that we had arrived; slowly but steadily the town started pouring into the plaza.

    With each song, as we warmed up, we shed a layer of clothing. When we got down to her mini-skirt and my shorts, the shout rang out, "It's the gringos, it's Pablo and Paty". (Like they couldn't recognize us otherwise.)

    TOO POOR TO PAY TO DANCE
    The town was so poor, that each couple had to sign their names on a list promising, some time in the future, to pay the entrance fee to the dance. And over a hundred couples signed on.

    The band put their uniforms back on; hooked their equipment back up; and the dance was about to get into high gear.

    IF LOOKS COULD KILL; & AN INVITATION YOU CAN'T REFUSE TO DANCE FOR A DRUG LORD
    One last big complication: No sooner did the band start playing (and before any other couples had joined us on the "dance floor"; this really big guy came up to us (we recognized him as the #1 assassin of their band), wearing two machine guns criss-crossing his chest. He looked at me with a mean-serious face that "said", "Dude, my boss tells me your time is up; say your prayers!"

    In that region, this kind of thing happens all the time. But, being quite used to dangerous situations, I didn't give up hope. Almost always, there's a way to negotiate.

    He "waved" me over to him wiggling his finger. Then he said, "My boss wants you to come over to his car over there and dance there first."

    BREAKING THE ICE ON THE DANCE FLOOR
    Our role at these dances is to dance from the opening note, to break the ice, so that the maximum number of people will show up and as many as possible will dance. So I had to convince him that we'd promise to go over to that car; but AFTER the first 15 minutes of dancing. Luckily, he accepted that compromise but with a threat if we didn't go there exactly then.

    The dance-floor filled up and then we went over there. After the first song there, he said to us, "How about when the next really good song to dance starts, you two go up on my boss's car-roof and dance there?" We weren't in any position to say "no"; and besides we were completely used to surprise-requests. The next song found us up there.

    DANCING WAY UP HIGH ON THE DRUG BOSS'S GLASS-ROOFED CAR
    No one can see these bosses' faces *; so, his car was like a gold-gilded cage. It also had a glass ceiling; so the boss got the best of views imaginable. Our 5 minutes up there, "broke the impasse" between the gang and the people; and everybody from both sides set to dancing in earnest.

    It turned into a big success in re-energizing the town's people (despite so many big problems in their lives).

    A DOZEN DANCES DURING A 3-DAY WEEKEND; A "PAY-FORWARD" "PERFECT" RIDE HOME
    For three days, we danced all over town at numerous private parties (for kids, teenagers, newly-weds, and oldsters); plus the next two nights in the plaza; followed lastly by just the two of us dancing in the middle of the final event, mud-racing). We also played and sang "everywhere" with guitar.

    When it was time to leave, the gang boss sent a car to "chauffeur" us all the way back home (well over 100 miles).

    Months later, in the same county, but in the largest town, that "link" we had built with that boss again served us quite well in another very dangerous situation.

    (To be continued...)

    * " No one can see these bosses' faces..." [What I mean here is that these drug bosses must ensure that no one (except a few select people of THEIR choosing) can ever see their faces; so no will ever testify against them; and the chances that they will be identified and "tagged" for a "hit" are greatly lessened.]
    - -- -
    Late addition:
    In post #71 of this thread, I add a link to a video of the Mud-Racing ("Atascones") event we danced at the last day of our visit to that town; so you can see was that type of event is like. (Unfortunately, we don't appear in the video; we're just off to the left.)
    Last edited by Pablonovi; 05-17-2014 at 05:36 PM. Reason: added & bolded subtitles; added asterix; & "late addition" at end

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    south
    Posts
    6,546

    Another Town ... Another Near-Death Experience ... Another Dance

    [Please note: These events (in my previous post and in this one) happened EXACTLY as described. I have not embellished anything. I have not invented anything. Heck, this stuff is wilder than a person could dream up.]

    BACK IN THE SAME COUNTY, BUT A DIFFERENT TOWN, THE COUNTY SEAT
    Months later, we were back in that same county, but this time, in its largest town (not much bigger than that other one); the county seat.

    We almost didn't make it there because, on the way, a large-size hail storm broke out; almost forcing the ride we were in off the road; and beating the bleep out of us, exposed in the back of that pick up truck. When we arrived in town, we were cut and bruised and shivering from the wild ride and the cold.

    INCREDIBLY WARM RECEPTIONS: UPON ARRIVAL OUT IN THE STREETS; & OUTSIDE THE DANCE AREA
    But the minute we got out of the pick-up, people started recognizing us. We had our first paying job before we had finished getting every out of the back! The people did not give us a break; it was song after song, house after house all afternoon. *

    Finally, we had to "beg" them to let us take a break, so that we could go to a friend's house, shower, dress and get back to the plaza in time for the dance's beginning.

    Our arrival in the plaza was challenging in a most unusual way. Everybody was hugging us (especially my baby); and thumping my back; and wanting to talk about the last year gone by since the last dance. Yet, somehow, we had to free ourselves of all their welcoming warmth so we could get onto the dance floor. And it's complicated doing that without any of all those friendly people taking offense (for being slighted).

    THE 6 OF THEM WERE HEAVY; BUT THEY WEREN'T MY BROTHERS

    Next, at the very entrance to the dance (where you pay to enter (though they never charge us)); there were 6 "young punks"; lined up across the entrance like they owned the place. We recognized what that meant: no one enters without their permission. So, hoping to "spin a dangerous situation into its opposite"; I just went right up and started shaking each of their hands, one by one. AND, intentionally, in the "wrong" order. This left the obvious "boss" guy for last.

    When we got to him he was in a rage (such "disrespect" "rubbed into his face" "in front of his underlings".) It was a dangerous but calculated move on our part. Now it was his move.

    He said, "I've heard lots about you two. But before any dancing gets done; you're going to answer some questions first." I said, "Yes sir." (To someone who could easily have been the age of my grandchildren.)

    So he started with his aggressive questioning. But we passed that initial test.

    GETTING DOWN TO IT: THE CRITICAL MOMENT; FACE TO FACE WITH DEATH-BY-PUNK
    Then as it got later and later, I had to ask him to please postpone further questioning so we could get to the dance. He said, "OK, but later on; you're going to answer every question I give you or else!" This was THE critical moment. You can't show any fear whatsoever or they own you and run rough-shod over you. But you also can't display too much bravado; cause that buys you an instant ticket to the graveyard. So, I responded to him,

    "Great, we'll take turns. You'll ask your questions and I'll answer them. Then I'll ask you questions."

    Who knew what he would do to that direct challenge to his authority. I felt my baby tremble by my side and her face lost all color. We had to just stand there and wait. We were eye to eye, he and I. I had absolutely no idea what was gonna happen next.

    And then, the impasse was broken; but not by either of the two of us. None of them had liked the instant tension; and the 2 youngest of them, suddenly took off at a very quick walk. I didn't know what it meant; but we weren't being beaten to death yet; so it was probably a good thing.

    15 NON-STOP EYEBALL-TO-EYEBALL MINUTES
    Meanwhile, we were still eye-staring; testing to see who would break OR push too hard first. Time slowed to almost a standstill. Whatever I felt, I had to hold that pose; hope to out-nerve him without angering him too much. Minutes passed. I could feel my baby almost in a panic; but I couldn't turn to look at her or say anything to her.

    And then, both of the two guys who had left, came back up at a run; one whispering into my "protagonist's" ear. Was this OK, or was it death, we didn't have a clue.

    "I APOLOGIZE. ENJOY THE DANCE." & ADRENALIZED TO THE MAX, WE DID !
    Then, he extended his hand out to me; and as we grasped hands, he said,
    "I apologize. Enjoy the dance." And that was it.

    It turns out that the two guys had hurried to their biggest boss in a panic looking for instructions. But he was the guy from the car in that other town. He recognized instantly what was going on; and how much danger we were in. He made sure we were not further bothered.

    And adrenalized to the max, on to the dance we went.
    Phew!

    * My baby playing the guitar and both of us singing.
    Last edited by Pablonovi; 04-28-2014 at 07:26 PM. Reason: added bolding & subtitles; added asterix

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    south
    Posts
    6,546

    Offensive Drunks & Popular Justice On The Dance Floor: An Easter Story

    Where we live it's a serious tradition that during the celebration of Easter Week, many of the young "punks" (and a few not so young, or not so male) dress up as "Fariseos" (Pharisees, or Phantasms; i.e., dressing as weird/scary as can be). Then they "get savage" whipping each other (and sometimes other unfortunate victims) with long thin sticks and other such weapons of "Mass Personal Destruction". (Kind of fits right in with the Easter Spirit and all, don'tcha think?)

    A good time was had by all !

    We didn't use to care for this custom much; on account of it regularly getting out of hand - with knarly cuts, bruises, and sometimes mass "pile-ons". (Boys will be boys I suppose).

    SLICING-AND-DICING FOR FUN & PUNKS; DANCING-AND-PRANCING FOR FANS & DRUNKS

    So, we hitchhike up to this very small town and walk over to the Plaza dance floor. Kids are running helter-skelter, couples are cuddling, families are setting up; and the Fariseos are doing their crazy thing. The spirit that year seemed to be particularly high, they were "slicing and dicing" their merry way.

    People saw us arrive, and got on their cell phones to spread the word far and wide, "It's on, Dude, Get Your *** Over Here! Paty & Pablo, The Gringos, Are Here!" And from as far away as 100 miles, they continually poured in, all night long; till the place turned into a bigger "town" than most of the towns around there.

    In the midst of all this chaos, we got one of the music-techies to put on some Cumbia & Regeto'n (our two favorites styles of dance); and began to dance. And the Fariseos started swooping by, bending as low as possible to get a premium view. All in good fun. Everybody is cheering us and cheering them!

    So up rolls this drunk and tries something nasty with my baby. Boy, there's little that's less fun for me than holding off a drunk who's intent on "copping a feel". I can't be getting into fights; so I have to "bend over backwards" and try to hold these determined total-jerk offs, sometimes for hours, while trying to maintain my normally-great feeling. If there's one group you CAN stereotype - it's drunks.

    A "SWARM" OF HUMAN "STINGING-BEES" IMPOSE POPULAR JUSTICE ON THE DANCE FLOOR
    The ONE thing I would have never expected then occurred. At least 15 of the Fariseos started running up to the drunk and poking him everywhere: back and front, high and low, butt and balls. He would swing out at them in anger and while one darted away the next zoomed in from another angle. Hundreds of people watched intently as this special spectacle proceeded.

    We too, still dancing, gazed in amazement at something we truly had never witnessed before: Public Full-Justice by young guys using their almost unlimited energy for something really good.

    They were like a swarm of Human "Stinging-Bees"; relentless and merciless. After about 15 minutes, the drunk gave up trying to hit any of them. After a half an hour he was down on the ground, miserable and weeping in shame, anger and frustration.

    Hundreds of people had witnessed the jerk try to hassle their "Dancing Queen"; and had then seen their own sons protect her. You could taste the pride swelling up and spilling out over everyone. This reached a peak, and, out from all sides, the entire crowd let loose with a bellowing shout of triumph!

    We had never seen anything like it; but were sure was glad we did.

    THE REWARD FOR A GOOD DEED DONE? A MAD-CAP DANCE THAT WENT ON ALL-NIGHT

    This totally unexpected, delicious victory put the entire crowd in the most exquisite of moods.
    People couldn't stop screaming out loud, guys were pounding each other on the back; women had tears of joy in their eyes. This infected all the kids, who just went berserk. The musicians, watching all this unfold right before their eyes, played like they never had before.

    Thru the night, the righteous raucousness swirled on and on. Every small group of people was inviting everybody else over to them to share in food and drink. Off to one side, fleets of Frisbees flew; young couples flashed by on horseback; horns honked; mariachis played and sang.

    3 a.m., the normal end-time came; but the crowd was ready: they called out "Mas" (More, more, more). The guy in charge gave the go-ahead, and the band picked their instruments back up; and we rocked on and on. Only when the sky had started to lighten and everybody was so exhausted and wasted they couldn't go on, did this rich riot of mass-sharing finally wind down.
    Last edited by Pablonovi; 04-27-2014 at 08:32 PM. Reason: bolded the subtitles

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    parts unknown
    Posts
    45,916
    can i give pablo the OT forum presidency?
    Rep Power: 0




    Quote Originally Posted by Raps08-09 Champ View Post
    My dick is named 'Ewing'.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    south
    Posts
    6,546
    Quote Originally Posted by ewing View Post
    can i give pablo the OT forum presidency?
    Hey my main man ewing,
    I'll take that as a compliment.
    btw, did I put this thread in the right (sub-)forum?

    I mean, is it off-topic enough to be in the off-topic forum?
    Or, in the reversified direction:
    Does it belong in the General Forum (and if so, in which of its sub-forums)?

    Or, should I have just left well-enough alone; and not even asked?

    P.S. Do I even want to be president of it? (Can you be trusted?)
    And what does a forum president do?
    Last edited by Pablonovi; 04-22-2014 at 12:40 AM. Reason: added P.S.; and "left" between "just" and "well-enoug" in the last sentence

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    parts unknown
    Posts
    45,916
    Quote Originally Posted by Pablonovi View Post
    Hey my main man ewing,
    I'll take that as a compliment.
    btw, did I put this thread in the right (sub-)forum?

    I mean, is it off-topic enough to be in the off-topic forum?
    Or, in the reversified direction:
    Does it belong in the General Forum (and if so, in which of its sub-forums)?

    Or, should I have just left well-enough alone; and not even asked?

    P.S. Do I even want to be president of it? (Can you be trusted?)
    And what does a forum president do?

    Pablo, i take back offer of Presidency as any status bestowed on you here will likely lead to a permaban. Anyway, post your stories where you like. i will read them
    Rep Power: 0




    Quote Originally Posted by Raps08-09 Champ View Post
    My dick is named 'Ewing'.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    south
    Posts
    6,546
    Quote Originally Posted by ewing View Post
    Pablo, i take back offer of Presidency as any status bestowed on you here will likely lead to a permaban. Anyway, post your stories where you like. i will read them
    Hey ewing,
    To get this out of the way, just to be sure, you do know that last post was all just light-hearted joking around by me, right? (For example my "Can you be trusted?")

    I don't know what this, "i take back offer of Presidency as any status bestowed on you here will likely lead to a permaban" means. Would you mind clarifying it?

    I DO appreciate you taking the time to read them; even more so, any comments about them you would care to make - I value your opinion.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    parts unknown
    Posts
    45,916
    Quote Originally Posted by Pablonovi View Post
    Hey ewing,
    To get this out of the way, just to be sure, you do know that last post was all just light-hearted joking around by me, right? (For example my "Can you be trusted?")

    I don't know what this, "i take back offer of Presidency as any status bestowed on you here will likely lead to a permaban" means. Would you mind clarifying it?

    I DO appreciate you taking the time to read them; even more so, any comments about them you would care to make - I value your opinion.

    no offense taken. The posters in this forum have are often looked upon unfavorable by those that run the site hence being name forum my not be good
    Rep Power: 0




    Quote Originally Posted by Raps08-09 Champ View Post
    My dick is named 'Ewing'.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    south
    Posts
    6,546

    Leading By NOT Leading: How To Learn (As Slow As Possible) How To Dance

    So, you might wonder how it is that I came to be a dancer?
    (My baby, btw, learned from 6 years old, standing on the feet of her grandma who was a professional dancer.)

    Before about a decade a go when we moved to south of the border, I had never danced any Mexican style of dancing. I "danced" rock and roll; and I put it in quotation marks because I was never gonna win any contests at it. But that didn't stop me from "dancing" my fool head off.

    So, we moved to Mexico; and we were CONSTANTLY invited to, and going to, parties with dances; what was I to do? I couldn't ask my professional-dancer baby NOT to dance.

    The only fair and reasonable thing to do, it seemed to way-too-innocent me, was to let her dance with other guys (after all, every single one of them, even the drunkest, could dance "Mexican" better than me).

    BOY WAS I MISTAKEN.

    What I say now is the god's honest truth (though virtually everything in all my posts is too; and besides I don't even believe in him/her/it/them).

    At every single dance, a fight broke out. A nasty fight. With blood. And more than two guys. Often lots more. And though I didn't START a single fight; I had to try to stop every last one of them; because every last one of them involved my baby.

    You see, the first guy to dance with her, would decide that one dance was just not going to be enough for him; he wanted her in his arms for the rest of the night. But so did all the other guys; including half the married ones. (If you ever get to see her dance; you'd sympathize with the guys - she's astonishingly sexy, totally so on the dance floor).

    So, these ugly, nasty, wild brawls would break out; again, and again, and again. Me being super-intelligent and all; it didn't take me more than about 6 months (yikes) to finally figure out the problem. She was too sexy for her skirt!

    So, finally it dawned on me - "Dude, you're gonna have to learn how to dance "Mexican"-style or you're gonna have to get used to spending the rest of your "life" 6 feet under!"

    I WASN'T EXACTLY A STAR-DANCER, (FOR THE FIRST ENTIRE 3 YEARS EITHER)

    It's a good thing I'm used to being a "freak" and/or embarrassing myself; because people were always laughing at me on the dance floor. It WAS in good humor; and it was well deserved. In fact, it became a regular part of the fun of the dances; everybody laughing their heads off at the spazz dancing with the beauty. Made me laugh along with them - I knew I was bad (to put the maximum UNDER-statement to the situation).

    HOW I FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO START DANCING "RESPECTABLY"

    I basically wasn't improving; pathetic, I think, is the word I'm looking for to describe my "progress".

    EVERYTHING distracted me. All the guys making cute eyes with my baby; about every 10 minutes some guy getting too close to her; some drunk crashing into the dancers; any shout; people talking to us while dancing.

    As soon as I got distracted, all the very-little rhythm I had so industriously "built up" vanished. It was so bad; even my baby would run out of patience with my throwing off her rhythm.

    Then, we were at this one dance, where the sound-technician had turned the base guitar all the UP. And I realized I could dance to his notes. Little by very little, dance by dance, month by month, I worked on this simple approach: "Think Base!" After about another year, I could, mostly, keep the rhythm of the base.

    And, we took off as a dance-duo. As long as I didn't screw up the basic beat, my baby could dance "lead guitar", using me as her base, to push off of, spin off of, lift up off of, etc. And people stopped laughing, and instead, started applauding.

    LEADING BY NOT LEADING
    After a while, people started thinking I was a pretty good dancer. This was really not my "fault". It's just that, people are used to the guy being the leader of a couple. So, when they'd see my baby blowing their minds, hypnotizing them with her moves (a super-short skirt does NOT hurt here); they didn't imagine that she was leading us. So, they assumed that I WAS.

    Guys even started coming up to me and telling me that they had taught themselves how to do my steps. (Seeing as, no matter how much I tried, I could never learn by either watching dance videos, or having a dance-instructor try with me. So, I must have come up with something original!)

    SENSUAL-DANCE FRENZY

    Since then, over the last bunch of years, we get invited everywhere in the region; and, more often than not, the County of the dance-town not only pays us to dance; but covers our room and board too.

    And, in a region of mostly small towns and very little money; IF we don't show up and dance; the dances basically don't happen. But, if we do, they are almost always the highlight weekend of the entire year for the people of that town.

    Truth be told, nobody stays seated. Everybody gets swept away. The scene becomes a kind of sensual (almost sexual) dance frenzy; BARELY under-control and just thrilling to be a part of. Undoubtedly, after those dances, many couples end up doing " 'private dances' for two".
    - - - - -
    N.B. This is copied from the "Some Suggestions About Potential Coyote Problems" Thread
    Link: http://forums.prosportsdaily.com/sho...ems-quot/page2

    I doubt there's any more of my previous PSD posts that I'll copy into this thread.
    Last edited by Pablonovi; 04-27-2014 at 08:38 PM. Reason: added bolding to subtitles

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    south
    Posts
    6,546

    "All Of My Respect To You, Pablo, & To Your Wife"

    We're in the small plaza of quite a small town of just a few hundred people, way out in the boonies. We've danced the first music-set (those usually last an hour and forty minutes, give or take). The band is taking its first break; and I'm about to go over to where they're providing drinks (soda or beer).

    AN ELDERLY GENTLEMEN CHATS RESPECTFULLY WITH US
    This elderly guy, I figure 75 years old, comes up to us, smiling ear to ear, hand extended towards me, introduces himself to us; and says, "All Of My Respect To You, Pablo, & To Your Wife".

    What could be more innocent and more inocuous, no?

    So I excuse myself from him, saying, "I'm just going over there for some soda, because the two of us don't drink alcohol; I'll be right back." I figure I've left her in good hands.

    Shortly, I'm back with the two of them. The first thing he does when I return, is to repeat his declaration of total respect towards me and us. We chat amiably, sipping from our sodas, enjoying his company, enthusiasms and compliments. Then we excuse ourselves from him; because we're gonna start dancing again.

    MY BABY INFORMS ME OF JUST HOW RESPECTIFULLY FRIENDLY HE WAS TOWARDS HER
    My baby says to me, "You're not gonna believe this. You had not taken 3 steps away from us when he said this to me in the most serious yet romantic of tones,

    'Paty, you exquisitely beautiful lady, my name, as I said, is Juan Carlos, I live right over there in that house that you see on the corner of the plaza. If your husband doesn't treat you good enough IN BED; I'd be so honored to make love with you, now and every day for the rest of my life. My house is your house (Mi casa es tu casa).' "

    I broke out in a scream of laughter. Even 70 year olds can't resist her. In this particular case, he could barely wait until I was out of ear-shot (hearing-distance); before he made his offer to her.

    "Mi Casa Es Tu Casa": A Most Gracious Yet Serious Expression of Friendship

    In that country, particularly in that region of it, when someone says, "mi casa es tu casa", this is said purely from the heart; and is, at the same time, not said lightly. The more serious the subject being discussed, the more serious is the offer. In this particular case, he was leaving no doubt that if she went with him; she would own his house (to do with it whatever she'd want to; hopefully for him, staying with him and knocking him out in bed til "death do him part". And why wouldn't he leave his house to her afterwards?)

    This made me reflect on things. It was NOT the first time that a man had said to us, "All of my respect ..." What, then, did this pattern mean?

    TAKING THE ULTIMATE RISK, IN THE NAME OF LOVE (& TOTALLY HOT SEX)

    Considering how prevalent and intense is sexual-jealousy in that region; it is EXTREMELY risky to be talking this way to another man's wife. Fights, stabbings, killings, blood-feuds and incarcerations have been the frequent result.

    In small towns, word spreads like wildfire; rapidly, everybody knows almost everything about everybody else. So, everybody knows: how confident we two are in our relationship; how much we love each other; that we make love twice daily; AND how I run 2.5 - 4 hours a day, and thus, have almost unlimited stamina. I might not be a guy to get on the wrong side of!

    And yet, they want her so bad, and are so sure it will work between her and them; that they can't help but risk coming up to me, her husband, trying to assuage any concern I might have about their intentions; and then, the moment they get the chance, risk everything, but offering their undivided love and attention to her.
    Last edited by Pablonovi; 04-24-2014 at 12:03 PM. Reason: "in bad" -> "IN BED"; "less" -> "more"; "any" -> "and"; bolded the last sub-title

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    West Covina CA
    Posts
    18,951
    Quote Originally Posted by ewing View Post
    can i give pablo the OT forum presidency?
    Make him King!

    WOW! Pablo I read the 1st 4 posts. Crazy stuff. Where are these places you had these dances? It sounds like you are some kind of Warrior of the Dance! Is it common for gangs to just take over these dances? Sounds dangerous.

    Also the 1st paragraph of the post 3 has me a bit confused. You say you were broiling in the sun and the next sentence say freezing in the winter. Was is just a hot day in winter or is there something metaphorical in your posts? I also thought it was a bit odd how long the stand off was between you and the leader of the gang in post 4. No one said anything? The way you wrote it, sounds like it was 10-15 minutes. Just a couple observations. I'll finish reading when I have the time. Hopefully I can keep up!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    south
    Posts
    6,546

    It is mighty dangerous living along the border between two drug-lord's territories

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracka2HI! View Post
    Make him King!

    WOW! Pablo I read the 1st 4 posts. Crazy stuff. Where are these places you had these dances? It sounds like you are some kind of Warrior of the Dance! Is it common for gangs to just take over these dances? Sounds dangerous.

    Also the 1st paragraph of the post 3 has me a bit confused. You say you were broiling in the sun and the next sentence say freezing in the winter. Was is just a hot day in winter or is there something metaphorical in your posts? I also thought it was a bit odd how long the stand off was between you and the leader of the gang in post 4. No one said anything? The way you wrote it, sounds like it was 10-15 minutes. Just a couple observations. I'll finish reading when I have the time. Hopefully I can keep up!
    Hey YouKnowYou'reMyCracka2HI!,
    My mainest man,
    Your kindly post deserves an in-depth answer. I think I'll have to break it up into two parts:
    1) A General Response, to your general questions about what it's like in our region;
    2) A Specific Response, to your specific questions about details within my posts.

    PART I: "PEACE-WARRIOR OF THE DANCE" IN THE LAND OF THE MACHINE GUNNERS

    You start your post: "Make him King!"
    You know, if I were to accept the crown, it'd only be because, after all, I am the most-loyal servant of and married to THE QUEEN. In every town, almost every last person adores her like their Queen, their Goddess Of Love; and they all call me "El Suertudo" (THE Lucky One). (They got that right!)

    Then you said, "WOW! Pablo I read the 1st 4 posts. Crazy stuff."

    YES CRAZY: DANCING IN SOME 50 TOWNS A YEAR ON THEIR MOST IMPORTANT WEEKEND

    Yes, definitely crazy stuff. We do this year-round "cycle" of dancing every weekend in about 50 towns. They extend out in every direct, North, East, West, South for over 100 miles. Some of these towns are pretty high up in the mountains; a number of them are so remote, it can take a whole day or two just to get there hitch-hiking; and there's been a number of times when we never got there, due to a lack of rides.

    WE NEVER THOUGHT WE'D BE HITCHHIKING AT ALL; MUCH LESS WILDLY & CRAZILY

    The rides themselves are extraordinarily "interesting". Who we ride with, how they drive, what else they do during the trip, how they treat us, the "necessary" stops they make along the way - so many of these rides are stories unto themselves (and will probably constitute a number of "chapters" in this thread).

    THE MOST IMPORTANT "MOMENT" OF THE ENTIRE YEAR (100% for sure)
    WHEN we DO get there, it's because it's their most-important (in some cases, their ONLY important) weekend of the entire year; the time of the "Fiesta Patronal", Annual Festival Of The Town's Patron Saint". To a large extent, how the Festival goes, determines how the people of each town will feel about themselves for the next 365 days. And all the other surrounding towns care about each other's Festival; they'd just love to be proud of their neighboring communities.

    "WARRIOR OF THE DANCE!"? MAKE THAT "PEACE-WARRIOR OF THE DANCE!"

    I AM kind of a "Warrior of the Dance!" but I'm NOT big, I'm NOT big-muscled, I'm NOT violent, I'm NOT angry, I'm NOT at all competitive with other men, and I don't have anything to prove to anybody because I know who I am, a servant of others (especially of a certain Dance Queen) and I'm close to perfectly-happy being that. So much depends on her role of inspiring / exciting the entire town & region into a frenzy of good-will, companionship and love centered around the dance. For her to play THAT role, the KEY is that no one be allowed to bother / distract her. No one can touch her (without her permission). Fights must be broken up; so that the dance doesn't get cancelled by the authorities. Ensuring "the peace"; that job's mine.

    Why would I possibly "agree" to "take" this "job"? Because, in addition to the love she inspires all around us; there's the love she inspires between us.

    I'm married to a super-f_ck, who never, ever says "No"; always wants more; the wilder the better!

    I have NO complaints in the world. If you combine that plus not being jealous, you have ME, a guy who just absolutely delights in experiencing every handsome guy drooling over my baby. I sympathize with them; I know how they feel. If they are "sure" she's the best there is; they still have no idea having never gone to bed with her! So, I take all the attention she gets as a compliment, to her and us. And I "handle" all the wild-and-craziness ever-swirling around us; because her love and the love of the people are worth it.

    THE BEER-DRINKINGEST COUNTRY, STATE, REGION

    In this region drinking is THE single most important and prevalent activity (there's basically no other social activity available: no theaters, no major sports or teams, no beaches, no museums ... you get the idea.) Mexico is a high-ranking country in the beer-drinking category. Our State might be THE highest-ranking one of the 32. Our Region might be THE highest-ranking within it.

    As might be expected, all this drinking has its "fellow-travelers": drunk drivers, crashes, road-kill (of the human kind), beastial fighting as an accepted normal activity, broken glass everywhere, blood-feuds, "families without fathers" (who are either out drinking or out of commission).

    ON THE BORDER BETWEEN TWO DRUG-LORD'S TERRITORIES: DANGER, DANGER

    Dangerous? You bet. It wasn't much this way when we first got here. One Drug-Lord controlled the entire state; and no one was disputing that. Thus, minimum violence and death. But with every State and National election, the Political Party in power can change. This brings a complete re-ordering of drug-trafficking power. Our region is prime weed-growing land; and, unfortunately, we live near the border of two Drug-King's territories.

    We didn't choose for it to be this way; but "up in them thar hills, there's the good smoke, and so there's the good-smoke smugglers, and so there's the smuggler-gangs, and so there's the "25 machine guns per small town", and so there's the wild and crazy shoot-outs & everything else just about imaginable (and mostly not very nice). EXCEPT ...

    "LAW OF THE MOUNTAIN":
    YOU BEHAVE GOOD, THE PEOPE LOVE YOU; YOU BEHAVE BAD, YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!


    EXCEPT ... except (despite the heavy poverty and the gang-driven violence) the people are so incredibly noble. There is a kind of instant-justice around here. If you behave well, you get treated well. If you behave really well, the people take you in as if you're their most beloved family member.

    OTOH, if you screw up, "you're outta here" and in a hurry. Everybody knows everybody else; and they know what they've got and what they need. Being so tight, a disruptive influence can do almost unlimited harm; so they just don't put up with it. (Except if they are "trumped" by bad guys with machine guns).
    Last edited by Pablonovi; 04-24-2014 at 11:41 AM. Reason: had forgotten to bold the sub-titles

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    south
    Posts
    6,546

    The Devil Is In The Details (the last post continued)

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracka2HI! View Post
    Make him King!

    WOW! Pablo I read the 1st 4 posts. Crazy stuff. Where are these places you had these dances? It sounds like you are some kind of Warrior of the Dance! Is it common for gangs to just take over these dances? Sounds dangerous.

    Also the 1st paragraph of the post 3 has me a bit confused. You say you were broiling in the sun and the next sentence say freezing in the winter. Was is just a hot day in winter or is there something metaphorical in your posts? I also thought it was a bit odd how long the stand off was between you and the leader of the gang in post 4. No one said anything? The way you wrote it, sounds like it was 10-15 minutes. Just a couple observations. I'll finish reading when I have the time. Hopefully I can keep up!
    Hey My Main Cracka2HI!,
    On to a more detailed response to your specific questions.

    Q: "Is it common for gangs to just take over these dances?"
    A: Yes and no. IF a gang is running the town, the gang runs the dance. IF no gang runs the town, then no; we've never yet experienced a surprise dance-take-over. btw, in some towns, the gang-in-power dons Police Department uniforms. In such cases, when they're not gunning people down (which isn't all that frequent btw); they're actually trying to keep the peace (makes me scream in laughter just thinking about it).

    Q: "Sounds dangerous."
    A: What can I say. We've had some dear friends of ours, including one 9 year old kid, dropped by stray bullets. We've had some dear female friends of ours taken-possession-of. Those women no longer exist as normally-reasoning people. They've had their kids driven from their lives. If they had husbands or boy-friends; they'll never see them again. They have become slaves; sometimes servicing "just" one single guy; sometimes servicing entire groups of guys. You can't look them in the eyes; because your former friend is no longer there. They look like skeletons; their eyes no longer see anything outside their heads. It's just too damned painful for those who love(d) them.

    OTOH, we NEVER mess with the gangs' business. We ALWAYS sing and/or dance for them if they ask/tell us to (sometimes they even pay us what they owe us!) AND, we always re-energize the towns where they've brutalized them into demoralization. So, the gangs tend to treat us with the utmost respect. In a way, it's like we're working for them and for free.

    Further, the young guys will often "dance with us"; usually in the distance, up on the roofs of cars or in the backs of pick-ups, with their machine guns swaying along to the rhythm. They'll offer us whatever we might want to smoke, inhale, inject, etc. (My baby smokes. I CAN'T partake of anything - because I ALWAYS have to be 100% ready for anything and everything.)

    Q: "Also the 1st paragraph of the post 3 has me a bit confused. You say you were broiling in the sun and the next sentence say freezing in the winter. Was is just a hot day in winter or is there something metaphorical in your posts?"

    A: It WAS a very hot spring / early-summer day. (Thus the 6-hour scorcher waiting for a ride).

    The forecast for the high mountains we were heading towards was: almost as hot. I ALWAYS end up toting a super-back-pack (averaging 100 pounds minimum). In and attached to that back-pack are: tent and sleeping bag; foam pad; sheets, clothes for 3-4 days including different dance outfits for her and shorts and t-shirts for me; guitar, guitar music; some food; some water; etc.)

    Then, by evening, an totally unexpected cold front came up over the top of the mountains. As we rode upwards, it got rapidly colder and colder. There was only one blanket for the 8 people in the back of the pick-up; it didn't reach us, in the furthest back corner, where there was the most wind. When we got out, every puddle was frozen solid. We put on every article of clothing we had; and were still shaking uncontrollably. It was the coyotes behind us and the steep climb that barely warmed us til we got to the dance.

    Q: "... or is there something metaphorical in your posts?"
    A: Generally, I don't "go" metaphorical in my posts. Where I do, I try to make it crystal clear; so that people can distinguish the one from the other: the description of facts from the metaphoricality.

    In this thread in particular, it's gonna be close to 100% just facts-descriptions.

    Q: "I also thought it was a bit odd how long the stand off was between you and the leader of the gang in post 4. No one said anything? The way you wrote it, sounds like it was 10-15 minutes. "

    A: Well, YES, it was odd, to say the least. I have very limited "weapons" at my disposal. I DO have an irresistible knock-out by my side. Often times that's enough to ease things for me/us. Often times that's exactly why things are so damned complicated and dangerous for me/us.

    I also have built up a lot of what you might call "skill" in dealing with heavy danger. (I've got some brain-power, tons of aerobic conditioning, almost unlimited patience, huge maturity, tons of experience, firm strategic principles combined with incredible tactical flexibility, AND the NEED to survive). Perhaps, "instincts" also applies.

    So, when I saw that we would have to "pass the gauntlet of those six young punks"; I immediately thought about how to "change the odds" and about how to do that asap. I knew I'd need a whole "tool-kit" of "tricks" to survive the encounter; the questions were: which tools and in which order.

    So, I deliberately "confused" the main guy by getting to him last. He didn't expect it; everybody else always approached his type first. But he had to think that I was NOT "working" him. So, I addressed him with all due respect, even deference. AND I didn't for a moment, take my eyes off of his (again without letting him (even pretend to) take offense). I had to READ his mind; and recognize his moves BEFORE he made them.

    My first moves took him by surprise, putting him in uncharted territory. I had to do everything in my power to keep him there; while maintaining his illusion that he was running things.

    This forced me, after the initial "battle", to WAIT. Wait for him to decide something; and then, asap, take an appropriate counter-measure. (In such battles, I have often resorted to blaming myself for things I hadn't done; whatever it takes to avoid having to kill others in an attempt to keep the two of us alive and hopefully little-harmed.)

    So, we got to the point where his two lowest-ranking guys had hurried off. He had not given them the order to do so. This left him with less than his usual gang; and he had NO idea wtf they were up to. At THAT moment, I saw unsure-ness, HESITATION, in his eyes. That dictated my response. I'd "nurture" his hesitancy; BUYING TIME. The KEY to that, was solid-firm, yet inoffensive, eye contact.

    Q: "15 [f_cking] minutes?" [Pablo's exaggeration here]
    A: Yes. We just stood there in the middle of a scene full of hundreds of people; and it was like we were the only two people in the universe. Time slowed to a crawl. The massive amount of sound all around us seemed to quiet down to virtual nothingness. Each time he "pushed" (trying to intimidate); I gave him a quick "two-step" response. For an instant, I'd "resist" (convincing him he could not intimidate me); then, hopefully before he reacted to that, I'd "submit" (lowering my eyes for a moment; then returning to full eye-contact but with a look of "I'm your friend here").

    All of this was completely new to him (and not to me). He never got to the point where he could decide whether I was "friend or foe"; and what he should do about that. And I had no choice but to "follow his lead", riding his emotional state. I was prepared to wait "forever" and to "take him and his 3 buddies down" the moment I might see him coming to the decision to try to attack us.

    This stalemate was finally broken by the re-appearance of his 2 other guys.

    Q: Last question, you didn't ask, but IS implied: "Were you nervous, Pablo?"
    A: wtf do you think, mofo??? (hehe) Even though I showed him NOTHING, I was simultaneously:
    Nervous to the max, laughing my head off (it was such a "worthy" battle), infuriated with this man-child-punk, flashing glimpses towards the other three guys JUST IN CASE, AND sweating whether my baby would keep her own cool for however long it would take.

    P.S. More than once in my life, I have killed in self-defense. What with the gang-beatings I went thru; I'm still not sure who won those fights.
    Last edited by Pablonovi; 04-27-2014 at 08:49 PM. Reason: "3 buddied" -> "3 buddies"; added P.S.

Page 1 of 7 123 ... LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •