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KB-Pau-DH2012
08-05-2012, 06:07 PM
What are some funny jokes about the NBA and its players can you come up with?


Just thought it'd be fun since nothing much is going on in the offseason other than the olympics.


Remember guys and girls, keep it clean.




Here are some I came up with.



What is the difference between Kobe and Time?


A: Time passes



What were baby Kobe's first 3 words?


A: It Was Consensual





Just come up with some funny, witty jokes. But please, no attacking fan bases or baiting, keep it as clean as possible.

WhiteSoxGod
08-05-2012, 06:15 PM
Amare Stoudamire is a good NBA player.

Funniest damn thing I have ever heard, sports or otherwise.

LakersMaster24
08-05-2012, 06:19 PM
I heard this one a while ago, I think its kinda funny.

"Why couldn't Kobe graduate from 1st grade?"

"He didn't PASS the tests."

netsgiantsyanks
08-05-2012, 06:21 PM
wannna hear a joke? the bobcats.

:laugh: :laugh:

lol.

b@llhog24
08-05-2012, 06:23 PM
Was a joke about the Olympic team:

Ten Men, One Dream, Nineteen eyebrows. :rimshot:

seikou8
08-05-2012, 06:23 PM
Amare Stoudamire is a good NBA player.

Funniest damn thing I have ever heard, sports or otherwise.

:facepalm::facepalm: in his prime better than anyone on Houston buddy

bigsams50
08-05-2012, 06:24 PM
What do the Charlotte Bobcats and possums have in common?
They both play dead at home and get killed on the road

:(

The goods
08-05-2012, 06:25 PM
What are some funny jokes about the NBA and its players can you come up with?


Just thought it'd be fun since nothing much is going on in the offseason other than the olympics.


Remember guys and girls, keep it clean.




Here are some I came up with.



What is the difference between Kobe and Time?


A: Time passes



What were baby Kobe's first 3 words?


A: It Was Consensual





Just come up with some funny, witty jokes. But please, no attacking fan bases or baiting, keep it as clean as possible.

That first joke was funny as hell. Lol

b@llhog24
08-05-2012, 06:26 PM
Also why is Kevin Durant so skinny? Because Russell Westbrook doesn't feed him the ball. :bow:

The goods
08-05-2012, 06:26 PM
What do the Charlotte Bobcats and possums have in common?
They both play dead at home and get killed on the road

:(

Hahahahaha

Puck017
08-05-2012, 06:29 PM
Q: What is the difference between a Knicks fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up.

Q: What does an New York Knicks fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: Why doesn't Albany have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then New York City would want one.


source: http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/nbajokes/newyorkknicksjokes.html

thechom80
08-05-2012, 06:30 PM
Darko.

Showtime Steve
08-05-2012, 06:31 PM
What do lakers and possums have in common?
Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

LongIslandIcedZ
08-05-2012, 06:32 PM
Q: What is the difference between a Knicks fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up.

Q: What does an New York Knicks fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: Why doesn't Albany have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then New York City would want one.


source: http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/nbajokes/newyorkknicksjokes.html

Someone has a NYC obsession.

knicksfan42
08-05-2012, 06:32 PM
Q: What is the difference between a Knicks fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up.

Q: What does an New York Knicks fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: Why doesn't Albany have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then New York City would want one.


source: http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/nbajokes/newyorkknicksjokes.html

:laugh:

KB-Pau-DH2012
08-05-2012, 06:36 PM
Q: What is the difference between a Knicks fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up.

Q: What does an New York Knicks fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: Why doesn't Albany have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then New York City would want one.


source: http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/nbajokes/newyorkknicksjokes.html


I said no attacking of fan bases, and try to come up with your own jokes.

Guess reading comprehension isn't your forte.

#SylvanLearning

ACanadian
08-05-2012, 06:36 PM
q: What is the difference between a knicks fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many new york knicks players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up.

Q: What does an new york knicks fan do when his team has won the nba finals?
A: He turns off the playstation 3.

Q: Why doesn't albany have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then new york city would want one.


Source: http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/nbajokes/newyorkknicksjokes.html

lololololololololololololololol

Puck017
08-05-2012, 06:37 PM
Someone has a NYC obsession.

Not really. I just knew it would be the easiest to find on the internet aside from the heat, but the heat just won the Championship so many of those jokes probably wouldn't of applied anymore. Not like I was spending time coming up with these.

Puck017
08-05-2012, 06:44 PM
What are some funny jokes about the NBA and its players can you come up with?


Just thought it'd be fun since nothing much is going on in the offseason other than the olympics.


Remember guys and girls, keep it clean.




Here are some I came up with.



What is the difference between Kobe and Time?


A: Time passes



What were baby Kobe's first 3 words?


A: It Was Consensual





Just come up with some funny, witty jokes. But please, no attacking fan bases or baiting, keep it as clean as possible.

Dude what the hell is wrong with you spacing if you want people to read everything then don't add some thing that far down. I read what you wanted in this thread, then I read your jokes. Excuse for not scrolling down when I see empty space. Learn some formatting your boses and coworkers will appreciate it.

PurpleJesus
08-05-2012, 06:46 PM
Have you guys heard about the new Lebron James cell phone? It is the most multi-dimensional phone ever, but it only has one ring.

PurpleJesus
08-05-2012, 06:47 PM
Dude what the hell is wrong with you spacing if you want people to read everything then don't add some thing that far down. I read what you wanted in this thread, then I read your jokes. Excuse for not scrolling down when I see empty space. Learn some formatting your boses and coworkers will appreciate it.

internet language and work language are not the same thing.

Puck017
08-05-2012, 06:56 PM
I said no attacking of fan bases, and try to come up with your own jokes.
#SylvanLearning

Don't act like yours are original. One of them is even copy righted.

seikou8
08-05-2012, 07:02 PM
Q: What is the difference between a Knicks fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up.

Q: What does an New York Knicks fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: Why doesn't Albany have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then New York City would want one.


source: http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/nbajokes/newyorkknicksjokes.html
corny and not true i turn off the xbox :D

knicks=love
08-05-2012, 07:41 PM
What do the Charlotte Bobcats and possums have in common?
They both play dead at home and get killed on the road

:(

this was the best one :clap: :worthy:


Q: What is the difference between a Knicks fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up.

Q: What does an New York Knicks fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: Why doesn't Albany have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then New York City would want one.


source: http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/nbajokes/newyorkknicksjokes.html

these were good.. but i'm not giving you credit :)


What do lakers and possums have in common?
Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

um no. when was the last time the lakers were bad? this joke is terrible and was already used.


Dude what the hell is wrong with you spacing if you want people to read everything then don't add some thing that far down. I read what you wanted in this thread, then I read your jokes. Excuse for not scrolling down when I see empty space. Learn some formatting your boses and coworkers will appreciate it.

JOKES ON YOU! :jumpy: (hype me up fellas!)

justinnum1
08-05-2012, 08:13 PM
Amare Stoudamire is a good NBA player.

Funniest damn thing I have ever heard, sports or otherwise.

:laugh2:

Puck017
08-05-2012, 08:51 PM
I got two original ones for you guys.

What coincides with NBA opening day every year?
The start of the Bobcat hunting season.

What does the NBA and an pest control have in common?
They can put down Bobcats in less than 48 mins.

WhiteSoxGod
08-05-2012, 08:51 PM
:facepalm::facepalm: in his prime better than anyone on Houston buddy

No not even. The guy couldn't guard me on the court, IN HIS PRIME. I mean I would hope as an agile 7-footer you could score near the basket. Hell Shawn Bradley could score near the basket and that's about the value of Amare Stoudamire.

LakersMaster24
08-05-2012, 09:55 PM
Name one player on the current Rockets team that is better than prime Stoudemire ^.

lakerboy
08-05-2012, 11:34 PM
Best NBA jokes? You can find them in the Knicks forum

el hidalgo
08-05-2012, 11:45 PM
You can take the NBA player out of the hood, but you cant take the hood out of the NBA player

seikou8
08-06-2012, 05:14 AM
No not even. The guy couldn't guard me on the court, IN HIS PRIME. I mean I would hope as an agile 7-footer you could score near the basket. Hell Shawn Bradley could score near the basket and that's about the value of Amare Stoudamire.

i am sorry but what i guess because shaq could not score outside of the piant he is a bum too. amare developed a jump shot.

49GiantWarriors
08-06-2012, 05:40 AM
Q:How did Amare blow out his birthday candles?
A:He didn't, he punched a ****ing fire extinguisher!

passittome
08-06-2012, 07:19 AM
Dwight Howard has made up his mind.

The economy is so bad that an Asian graduate of Harvard decided to test his luck in the NBA as a career move.

cjdabu
08-06-2012, 01:23 PM
David Kahn's drafting

cjdabu
08-06-2012, 01:24 PM
the MN timberwolves after KG left up until last year

cjdabu
08-06-2012, 01:24 PM
p.s. I still love and always will stick with the Wolves through the ups and many downs!

Burgo
08-06-2012, 03:17 PM
Someone has a NYC obsession.

Soooo many haters! Makes me laugh..

Blitzbolt
08-06-2012, 03:26 PM
Who do you got for this years west allstar team?

Kobe Favors Gay Love Sessions.

Burgo
08-06-2012, 03:48 PM
Who do you got for this years west allstar team?

Kobe Favors Gay Love Sessions.

Hahaha... decent!

Lakeshow24KB
08-06-2012, 04:08 PM
Rihanna should date a bobcat because they don't beat anybody.

Whenever I wanna see Lebron highlights I go to the travel channel.

KingPosey
08-06-2012, 04:09 PM
What do lakers and possums have in common?
Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Is that you Carlos Mencia?

MiamiBoy77
08-06-2012, 04:19 PM
Why didn't JaVale mcGee play?
Because he heard the game was on TNT n didn't wanna get blown up.

RealLiveBear
08-06-2012, 04:58 PM
Anything involving Delonte west...

Auseranami
08-06-2012, 05:03 PM
What does magikarp and lebron have in common? They flop all the time

Blitzbolt
08-06-2012, 05:24 PM
What does magikarp and lebron have in common? They flop all the time

But then he turns into a Gyarados and beats the F@#4 out of everyone.

WhiteSoxGod
08-06-2012, 05:29 PM
i am sorry but what i guess because shaq could not score outside of the piant he is a bum too. amare developed a jump shot.

Please do not compare a scrub like Amare Stoudamire to Shaq. Shaq was a great defender.

Oh wait, my bad man THAT was your joke. :laugh: That's a great one, best one yet on this thread.

Big Zo
08-06-2012, 05:40 PM
What does LeBron say when you ask him for a dollar?

"**** you, get a job!"

tcav701
08-06-2012, 05:44 PM
What does LeBron say when you ask him for a dollar?

"**** you, get a job!"

Whats the difference between Lebron and Darth Vader.

One was a young prodigy with unmatched power that cracked under pressure and joined the evil empire vowing to destroy everyone who cared about him.

The other is a fictional movie character.

tcav701
08-06-2012, 05:48 PM
Kobe and LeBron think this olympic team would beat the dream team....

Big Zo
08-06-2012, 05:53 PM
Whats the difference between Lebron and Darth Vader.

One was a young prodigy with unmatched power that cracked under pressure and joined the evil empire vowing to destroy everyone who cared about him.

The other is a fictional movie character.

Nice guys finish last...

Kuya_Clive
08-06-2012, 05:56 PM
who took Derrick Rose's SAT?

Jeremy Lin

tcav701
08-06-2012, 06:01 PM
Nice guys finish last...

I'm sorry was that a joke...?

Big Zo
08-06-2012, 06:05 PM
I'm sorry was that a joke...?

No, your team is a joke. I was just speaking the truth.

tcav701
08-06-2012, 06:07 PM
No, your team is a joke. I was just speaking the truth.

I was just a little confused because the thread title is "best NBA jokes" not "tightly hug the nuts of your favorite player."

dnewguy
08-06-2012, 06:11 PM
What do you call a Knicks player with a championship ring? A senior citizen

What does the stock market and Knicks season ticket holders have in common? They both get negative returns.

A Knicks play-off ticket or a date with "precious"? suicide

thephoenixson28
08-06-2012, 06:12 PM
Best NBA jokes? You can find them in the Knicks forum

:rimshot: In all seriousness, did you really think a thread like this would be clean. It's like giving a bank robber a gun, and tell him not to rob it. Hahaha

Da Knicks
08-06-2012, 06:12 PM
No not even. The guy couldn't guard me on the court, IN HIS PRIME. I mean I would hope as an agile 7-footer you could score near the basket. Hell Shawn Bradley could score near the basket and that's about the value of Amare Stoudamire.

you got problems you and justinum are obsessed with the knicks...

Big Zo
08-06-2012, 06:17 PM
I was just a little confused because the thread title is "best NBA jokes" not "tightly hug the nuts of your favorite player."

Well, you've already mentioned him twice, so it seems you have a firmer grip on those nuts...

tcav701
08-06-2012, 06:19 PM
Well, you've already mentioned him twice, so it seems you have a firmer grip on those nuts...

It was once and it was a joke, as asked by the thread title.

There are many jokes about Kobe and yet there is no one feeling the need to defend him.

A grown man idolizing and feeling the need to protect his image on a sports forum is pathetic. LeBron wouldnt piss on you if you were on fire despite your man crush.

Big Zo
08-06-2012, 06:25 PM
It was once and it was a joke, as asked by the thread title.

There are many jokes about Kobe and yet there is no one feeling the need to defend him.

A grown man idolizing and feeling the need to protect his image on a sports forum is pathetic. LeBron wouldnt piss on you if you were on fire despite your man crush.

Well aren't you "Mr. Internet Cool Guy"? You mentioned him twice. Go fap to that poster of his you have in your room.

8kobe24
08-06-2012, 06:28 PM
Seriously, if anyone makes a joke about lebron, prepare to get torched by the heat faithful (est.2010).

tcav701
08-06-2012, 06:31 PM
Well aren't you "Mr. Internet Cool Guy"? You mentioned him twice. Go fap to that poster of his you have in your room.

I make a joke with his name in it, you come out and defend him and I have the shrine of him in my room?

I really don't get your logic...

I cant tell if its a reading comprehension problem with you or if there is some sort of mental illness going on over there.

Aust
08-06-2012, 06:32 PM
Lebron's hairline always seems to be a joke around the league and media

Big Zo
08-06-2012, 06:34 PM
I make a joke with his name in it, you come out and defend him and I have the shrine of him in my room?

I really don't get your logic...

I cant tell if its a reading comprehension with you or if there is some sort of mental illness going on over there.

It's obvious you're obsessed with the guy. Now stop wasting time and get the hand lotion.

JasonJohnHorn
08-06-2012, 06:38 PM
Who do you got for this years west allstar team?

Kobe Favors Gay Love Sessions.

lol

ChiTownCubbies
08-06-2012, 06:45 PM
2/3 of the world is covered by water, the other 1/3 is covered by Shane Battier.

KB-Pau-DH2012
08-06-2012, 07:17 PM
2/3 of the world is covered by water, the other 1/3 is covered by Shane Battier.

That makes absolutely zero sense lol.

KB-Pau-DH2012
08-06-2012, 07:18 PM
No, your team is a joke. I was just speaking the truth.

Dumb post, I told you, no attacking of fan bases.

YEDN90
08-06-2012, 07:27 PM
Best NBA jokes? You can find them in the Knicks forum

:laugh2:

EDUTEXANS
08-06-2012, 07:41 PM
2/3 of the world is covered by water, the other 1/3 is covered by Shane Battier.

Shane Battier said it about Chuck Hayes, if I'm not wrong

BobbyHillSwag
08-06-2012, 08:21 PM
Yo I got some of the best jokes peep this:


Wade>iverson(couldnt type it with a straight face)

what did lebron say to wade when wade said lebron was taking hgh? your baby daddy is a mascot wade, you should shut up now(oh damn the ether that **** that make your soul burn slow)

chris paul>iverson(not as funny as the wade one but funny nontheless)

why did wade's jaw grow? because he has growth horomones in it

why did wade's baby daddy get free tickets to the game? cause wade's baby daddy is a mascot.

dnewguy
08-07-2012, 12:31 AM
Yo I got some of the best jokes peep this:


Wade>iverson(couldnt type it with a straight face)

what did lebron say to wade when wade said lebron was taking hgh? your baby daddy is a mascot wade, you should shut up now(oh damn the ether that **** that make your soul burn slow)

chris paul>iverson(not as funny as the wade one but funny nontheless)

why did wade's jaw grow? because he has growth horomones in it

why did wade's baby daddy get free tickets to the game? cause wade's baby daddy is a mascot.

If it was legal, I will sue you for ruining a good thread.

ryang
08-07-2012, 01:01 AM
Seriously, if anyone makes a joke about lebron, prepare to get torched by the heat faithful (est.2010).

I could care less about those jokes.. Est 1988.. Now be a good girl and run along..

LakersMaster24
08-07-2012, 01:08 AM
Whats the similarity between Dirk and Lebron's hairline?

They both fadeaway.

JWO35
08-07-2012, 01:11 AM
Miami Heat fans


/thread

ryang
08-07-2012, 01:19 AM
Miami Heat fans


/thread

Before we won the title.. Psd / people laughing at the heat..

bucketss
08-07-2012, 01:22 AM
Yo I got some of the best jokes peep this:


Wade>iverson(couldnt type it with a straight face)

what did lebron say to wade when wade said lebron was taking hgh? your baby daddy is a mascot wade, you should shut up now(oh damn the ether that **** that make your soul burn slow)

chris paul>iverson(not as funny as the wade one but funny nontheless)

why did wade's jaw grow? because he has growth horomones in it

why did wade's baby daddy get free tickets to the game? cause wade's baby daddy is a mascot.

lol both wade and paul are better than iverson ever was.

--23--
08-07-2012, 01:39 AM
Who do you got for this years west allstar team?

Kobe Favors Gay Love Sessions.


Rihanna should date a bobcat because they don't beat anybody.

Whenever I wanna see Lebron highlights I go to the travel channel.


Also why is Kevin Durant so skinny? Because Russell Westbrook doesn't feed him the ball. :bow:


lol these are good :clap:

DoMeFavors
08-07-2012, 01:44 AM
Chandler isnt a bust!

seikou8
08-07-2012, 01:47 AM
not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7 was and is the biggest joke of all time thanks lebron:laugh::laugh:

JOhnnyTHaJet
08-07-2012, 01:51 AM
DoMeFavors isnt mentally handicapped.

ryang
08-07-2012, 01:52 AM
not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7 was and is the biggest joke of all time thanks lebron:laugh::laugh:

We feel was the first part of that statement.. Anyone who took 8 championships seriously gave me the biggest laugh..

BobbyHillSwag
08-07-2012, 08:15 AM
:laugh2::laugh2::laugh2:
lol both wade and paul are better than iverson ever was.

:laugh2::laugh2:


the best one yet good job man

eternal slumber
08-07-2012, 08:40 AM
who flops more, a fish out of the water or Luis Scola? =)

JOhnnyTHaJet
08-07-2012, 11:03 AM
who flops more, a fish out of the water or Luis Scola? =)

Blake Griffin.

ryang
08-07-2012, 11:14 AM
Stats are all I need to prove you wrong.

absolute zero
08-07-2012, 11:21 AM
http://mattlerman18.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/morrisontrophy.jpg

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fS4Kgb32vk8/T-VTwr__1rI/AAAAAAAAAJc/XFgIWWa1fuk/s1600/I75pC.jpg

koLohe2133
08-07-2012, 11:38 AM
Why does Kobe cry after sex??

Because that's what mace does.

Heediot
08-07-2012, 12:16 PM
Why is the Staples Center the house that Kobe built?

It's from all the bricks he lays out.

BobbyHillSwag
08-07-2012, 12:20 PM
Stats are all I need to prove you wrong.

this, the funny thing is, they call it fact when in reality people make up all the advanced stats and ****. The funniest thing ever people think they can come up with a legitimate arguement with just stats.

ryang
08-07-2012, 12:34 PM
It can be argued but advanced stats dont make people's points facts..

SaimuKala
08-07-2012, 12:51 PM
http://i.imgur.com/GtQ2r.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/uxoCZ.gif

LongIslandIcedZ
08-07-2012, 01:20 PM
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m23hkxyVFF1rnyeudo1_500.jpg

NBA 2k12

absolute zero
08-07-2012, 06:34 PM
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m23hkxyVFF1rnyeudo1_500.jpg

NBA 2k12

They're making another one for 2k13:

http://nba2k4life.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/mettaworldpeace-special-controller-ps3-edition.jpg?w=593&h=342

:D

EDUTEXANS
08-07-2012, 06:52 PM
lol at the controllers

dnewguy
08-07-2012, 09:12 PM
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m23hkxyvff1rnyeudo1_500.jpg

nba 2k12

lmao

LA_Raiders
08-07-2012, 09:35 PM
Was a joke about the Olympic team:

Ten Men, One Dream, Nineteen eyebrows. :rimshot:

lol :clap:

LA_Raiders
08-07-2012, 09:37 PM
http://i.imgur.com/GtQ2r.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/uxoCZ.gif

LeFlop borrowed his muppet...

dnewguy
08-07-2012, 09:46 PM
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-ball-dont-lie/j-r-smith-thinks-knicks-talent-win-championship-223954539--nba.html

--23--
08-07-2012, 11:04 PM
who flops more, a fish out of the water or Luis Scola? =)

Blake Griffin.

wrong it's Chris Paul

D12 fan
08-07-2012, 11:14 PM
What do Orlando/Cleveland fans have in common?

They both think they can keep a superstar.

bledrules
08-07-2012, 11:28 PM
Dont need nba jokes it already is one all by itself

SF8
05-20-2015, 04:48 AM
The Clippers are probably the best one.

IBleedPurple
05-20-2015, 05:01 AM
The Clippers are probably the best one.Wow that took some trollific effort going back a few years...

Scoots
05-20-2015, 11:38 AM
I must say when I first saw the thread title I figured it was going to have "The Clippers" as a post ... but "The 76ers" is probably more apt overall. Or "The Knicks". Why not respect what the Clippers have done right over the last few years starting with bribing the commissioner to gift them CP3 the first overall pick and a rich owner?

Tony_Starks
05-20-2015, 11:47 AM
What does a Lebron fan say during a Avengers movie? Ironman needs more help!

LakerfaninKY
05-20-2015, 12:19 PM
Dwight Howard's offensive repertoire.