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View Full Version : Cult of Bismack Biyombo update.



Iodine
01-04-2012, 12:35 AM
Gather around my children, for I have stories from our lord and cult founder Bismack Biyombo. However before I can divulge these, first we must pay tribute.

For a player of our lords divine skill, life is not easy. Some may say with all the talent of 279 Hakeems (or roughly 45,008,987,986,876 Primoz Brezec's) the sport should come easy. They are not wrong,to him the sport comes easier than all women that are lucky enough to encounter his presence. What is hard for him is to not play with all his heart and skill, so he decided to play at a level very similar to the percentage Manram doesnt get slapped by women: 0.07%. However our got is a benevolent one, who will gladly impregnate all of us and all females we know, as long as they are better looking than whatever Josh can get (he set's the bar that low my children).

So even at this low level (and the racism the NBA officials have for all powerful beings) Bismack has still been able to Bis-SMACK several players, as noted by his numbers in the only stat that can ever matter, per 48: 10/13/5.

Now then enough of praise, please begin to pour out our love (and send monetary gifts to the cult as well), as our lord has blessed us with several mysterious images

http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i456/NuDirtyBastard/Bisonmarrige.png

http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i456/NuDirtyBastard/Hawkeye.png

http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i456/NuDirtyBastard/Champagneroom.png
http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i456/NuDirtyBastard/Rugby.png

http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i456/NuDirtyBastard/SmithRape.png

http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i456/NuDirtyBastard/Evan.png

KH12
01-04-2012, 12:36 AM
Who?

Gators123
01-04-2012, 12:38 AM
Who?

GoPacers33
01-04-2012, 12:42 AM
Ok

jimbobjarree
01-04-2012, 12:42 AM
thank god we got an update

Hawkeye15
01-04-2012, 12:42 AM
thank god.

Cal827
01-04-2012, 12:43 AM
:laugh: There no sex in the champagne room.

Hilarious.

Gators123
01-04-2012, 12:45 AM
Seriously though, Bismack is amazing.


Season Age Tm Lg G MP PER TS% eFG% ORB% DRB% TRB% AST% STL% BLK% TOV% USG% ORtg DRtg OWS DWS WS WS/48
2011-12 19 CHA NBA 4 50 7.2 .475 .571 8.3 23.3 15.3 0.0 1.0 7.4 27.5 12.6 75 104 -0.1 0.0 0.0 -0.036

Il Mago50
01-04-2012, 12:46 AM
We want Primo, We want Primo yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

NSJ
01-04-2012, 12:46 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7f3vpCwoZM

Tmath
01-04-2012, 12:48 AM
Hilarious :laugh2:

Cal827
01-04-2012, 12:49 AM
We want Primo, We want Primo yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Not after those Bargnani ads. Now I fear that the dealers will start trying to deal out a hit of pasta and pasta accessories in the back alleys.

I'll think Ima gonna go back to coke, cause dealers can't confuse that for anything.

Geargo Wallace
01-04-2012, 12:51 AM
You're not quite at the level of TheHoopsProphet, but you did a damn good job.

Bismack is the Real BasedGod.

jimbobjarree
01-04-2012, 12:52 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7f3vpCwoZM

the second coming of hakeem!

torontosports10
01-04-2012, 12:52 AM
We're not worthy.

Il Mago50
01-04-2012, 12:54 AM
Not after those Bargnani ads. Now I fear that the dealers will start trying to deal out a hit of pasta and pasta accessories in the back alleys.

I'll think Ima gonna go back to coke, cause dealers can't confuse that for anything.

Bargs is my boy but man...they gotta stop running those commercials, the man is being treated like the basketball version of Mario with the stereotypes.

I'm gonna pitch an advertisement for Trojan Condoms and Bazookas and see if his street cred goes up.

"Before every game, I **** my Canadian ***** and pop a missile into Lake Michigan. Success is the only result."

Hawkeye15
01-04-2012, 01:05 AM
I personally feel that if Tim Tebow ejaculated on a 20 year old jogging by his house, that it would perform some "Gremlin" act, and absorb into his body at a very gross but slow fashion, and that within an un-determined amount of time, we will see Bismark lead something important. And that is all that is important.

Geargo Wallace
01-04-2012, 01:14 AM
I personally feel that if Tim Tebow ejaculated on a 20 year old jogging by his house, that it would perform some "Gremlin" act, and absorb into his body at a very gross but slow fashion, and that within an un-determined amount of time, we will see Bismark lead something important. And that is all that is important.

lol @ Tebow ejaculating. He wont even think of a vagina until he gets married.

Hawkeye15
01-04-2012, 01:24 AM
lol @ Tebow ejaculating. He wont even think of a vagina until he gets married.

The very fact that you singled out the small portion of my creepy post and went Tebow on Tebow's jaculation routine, I shortened it due to me not wanting to type the extra 3 keys.

Geargo Wallace
01-04-2012, 01:30 AM
The very fact that you singled out the small portion of my creepy post and went Tebow on Tebow's jaculation routine, I shortened it due to me not wanting to type the extra 3 keys.

It's my thing. That's what I do.

Hawkeye15
01-04-2012, 01:32 AM
It's my thing. That's what I do.

ironic. That was the exact statement I gave my Mom when she asked, "Why do you like to crush Natalie Portman's ***?"

We get thru life, regardless.

Iodine
01-04-2012, 01:33 AM
Let us all praise the Mac!

Our lord would have easily completed at least half of his passes. If Mark Sanchez can with the awareness of thanksgiving leftovers, imagine with what the inspiration for the last boyscout could do

Geargo Wallace
01-04-2012, 01:34 AM
ironic. That was the exact statement I gave my Mom when she asked, "Why do you like to crush Natalie Portman's ***?"

We get thru life, regardless.

And that is all that is important.

Hawkeye15
01-04-2012, 01:36 AM
If Bismark was an NFL QB going against the Packers in the playoffs, I really see no way how the Packers deal with the most complete game in NFL history. Bismark would throw for 565 yards, 6 TD's, and I am being conservative right now.

Hawkeye15
01-04-2012, 01:37 AM
And that is all that is important.

Sto ignoring the pooper.

Embrace it.

Iodine
01-04-2012, 01:39 AM
That's his first half line.

He would take the Jaguars to the superbowl, and not even a Bill Simmons wet dream of Tawwmy Brady could do that.

Tmath
01-04-2012, 01:42 AM
Sto ignoring the pooper.

Embrace it.

Any holes a goal.

RaiderKid318
01-04-2012, 01:45 AM
I wanna know why the **** he is only a 55 overall on 2k12 :mad:

Knickerbocker34
01-04-2012, 01:49 AM
jordan is a ******* for comparing bismack to Hakeem.....just like Kwami Brown was the next KG right mike?

RaiderKid318
01-04-2012, 01:54 AM
^ duh

AnalyzeNShoot
01-04-2012, 01:55 AM
Awesome

Sadds The Gr8
01-04-2012, 02:15 AM
Bismack probably packs even more heat than Rasual Butler.

Iodine
01-04-2012, 02:17 AM
Bismack probably packs even more heat than Rasual Butler.

His flaccid penis can kill an elk, a slight erection can level buildings

LA_Raiders
01-04-2012, 02:23 AM
Mvp

Tanakid777
01-04-2012, 04:42 AM
ironic. That was the exact statement I gave my Mom when she asked, "Why do you like to crush Natalie Portman's ***?"

We get thru life, regardless.

:laugh:

fredv
01-04-2012, 05:54 AM
the second coming of hakeem!

FAIL.

The Bomb is amazing though!

BirdIsTheWord
01-04-2012, 06:13 AM
jordan is a ******* for comparing bismack to Hakeem.....just like Kwami Brown was the next KG right mike?

My thoughts exactly, Bismack is light years ahead of Hakeem in basketball ability.

Geargo Wallace
01-04-2012, 12:33 PM
Sto ignoring the pooper.

Embrace it.

I was there first.

I love how you still try to embrace it.

Geargo Wallace
01-04-2012, 12:36 PM
His flaccid penis can kill an elk, a slight erection can level buildings

Manute Bol could hunt him with a spear.