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TheHoopsProphet
10-29-2011, 01:59 PM
And so the economic climate remains stormy, obama continues his campaign for most interviews unrelated to politics in presidential history, my penis hasn't been touched by another women in months, and the lockout for professional basketballers continues. And before it ever ends, we may go through grown beards, geographical landshifts, the birth and death of many generations of sports fans, revolutions on ruling classes berthed by previous revolutions of previous ruling classes, and maybe...hopefully...a huge asteroid descends towards earth and kills us all to end the agony and pain of what is the current reality - a basketballing-less universe.

Yes, gone are those days we get to watch Carmelo Anthony ball-stop the offense in the name of a 40 point outing, gone are those days we get to pay 86 dollars to watch the Lakers lollygag around the court for three quarters from the third deck, gone are the days we get to watch players feign rivalries between teams before they go out clubbing with each other after the game.

The fans, in spite of the ~10% unemployment rate, in spite of the growing detachment between sports athletes and their loyal fans, in spite of the owners' continuing rectitude which remains as invisible as Lebron's game in the fourth quarter, continue to sit by the door, wagging their tails, waiting, hoping, that maybe someone, anyone, in this NBA lockout will get off their plush, Italian-leathered couch and walk them.

But before we take out the pitchforks, perhaps we should understand, at the root of all this, why this is happening. Why any of this is happening, within and without the basketballing universe. And the fact of the matter is its just the hyperreality of capitalism my babies. And we are all witnesses of the marketability, the gross fabrication of fandom supported by the illusion of a mutual relationship between the teams and the people who adamantly support them like the abused wife in her trailer home trying convince the police that her husband is a good man.

Why does it shock fans that this lockout is so unconcerned with the fans? As players never seem to fail to spout during trade rumors and free agency, "This is a business". And the sole reason of a businesses' existence, and the raison d'etre of our capitalistic system itself, is to maximize profits. So even though its easy to view David Stern's as the symbol of our agony, as the great philosopher Ice-T once said, "Don't hate the playa, hate the game."

Nothing is more patriotic than to see these millionaires and billionaires fight over 1-2% of profits, its as emblematic of this great nation as watching a thousand pound family going out to McDonalds to try and add an extra roll of fat to their stomachs, or seeing a muscley macho man pick up lumber wood on his farm while his big-breasted wife watches from the porch drinking her lemonade, waiting to make sweet, passionate, sweaty love in the confines of their bedroom while their six children watch.
And we fail to see that. We are wondering why all this is happening like we just walked into capitalism last night. Even those jackrabbit, weed-smoking, dread-haired, Honda-driving neo-hippes camping out singing Kumbaya and Jack Johnson songs in their cargo shorts across major cities as part of the Occupy WallStreet campaign fail to realize. Having class warfare in a capitalistic system is like trying to abolish weed from a reggae concert.

Why should protestors of OWS expect the elite 1% to give an elephant's *** about the elongating gap between the upper and lower class? They tend to ask things like, "How can those rich executives drink sweet mary wine on their yachts, have Czech supermodels licking their toes all while being so oblivious and unconcerned with the down-trotted economy? Well, you know those moments where you want to upgrade your phone, and can't decide between an Android or iPhone4? Even though you have a perfectly decent phone already? Its kinda like that. Its kinda how you can go eat at a restaraunt with friends or family even though there's already plenty of food you left home in your fridge. Its kinda how you go to the mall to look for new sneakers even though you already have about 10 pairs of them in your closet. Its kinda how we continue to rev up our V8 engines and drive our vehicles everywhere in spite of its perilous contributions to the CO2 emissions that are destroying out atmosphere.

We don't need any of that, and while we're browsing our 60" LCD television screens checking out the 500 channels we just ordered we come across those commercials that show those starved and miserable Ethiopian children dying in their desolate home countries, and instead of considering just donating a meager 5 bucks our of our pockets to save a fcking life, we just change the channel.

There's a shark in our pool, but the weather is so hot, we continue to jump right in it.

The elitists care about us the same way we care about those Ethiopian kids. They aren't necessarily these cruel, dehumanized monsters so much as, like us, they are simply just comfortable in their own little lives, and its hard to look beyond that.

This Lockout will continue to tug and grind this way over that 1-2% because that's just the way capitalism goes. And if you want these lockouts to end, then the system itself needs to end.

But that won't happen. Because, in spite of the abuse the fans have been given, we will continue to write their paychecks and come crawling back to the stadiums, no matter how long their lockout takes. But I won't take part of it. As much as I love watching those professional basketballers, I don't want to follow a sport that has shown no respect to me. I just want that asteroid to wipe us all out, because we all have already been too overexposed to hypercapitalism, and all our brains have been too hard-wired to care about anything but ourselves.

Twinsfan24
10-29-2011, 02:16 PM
:clap::clap::clap:

itsripcity32
10-29-2011, 02:19 PM
lol ?

tcav701
10-29-2011, 02:24 PM
you are my hero

tredigs
10-29-2011, 02:50 PM
Taking a break from occupy wall street for the day?

We saw this lockout coming since 2007. A certain faction of owners were well prepared for the loss of a season. If you weren't paying attention, it's news.

GiantsSwaGG
10-29-2011, 03:05 PM
I love you

smith&wesson
10-29-2011, 04:09 PM
entertaining

SportsAndrew25
10-29-2011, 04:28 PM
This is some Andy Rooney **** right here *****.

Hawkeye15
10-29-2011, 04:41 PM
another gem Hoops

sjoerdje
10-29-2011, 04:48 PM
nice piece man,

Like you are saying we don't care about the Etheopians, but an even better example is when you company is demanding a 7% rollback in salaries, as a reaction you and you colleagues go on a strike! But do you care about the poor customer, the guy who really needs you product? Of course you don't!

But instead of saying that you want a gigantic asteroid to wipe us out, you could just shrug and put your precious time and money in something that does give back. Changing the whole system is impossible (rings any bells?) try to change the little things so it's more bearable.

we can probably go out and talk about this stuff all our lives, that isn't going to make us happier!

naps
10-29-2011, 05:20 PM
writeup!

PacersForLife
10-29-2011, 05:44 PM
I never really thought about this lockout like this, but while a lot of this is true, I still don't feel the same way. I will still watch the NBA when it comes back in what will probably be next season (2012-2013) there's no question about it. The reason is I just love the game of basketball too much to give up on it ever... This lockout is really stupid, and some people think of the NBA as just a business and is the reason they don't watch it, they think it is all a big hoax, but I will never see it that way. I fell in love with the NBA at a young age and I just can't give up on it with a snap of the fingers. Its a part of my everyday life and it really kills me to not be able to get on my computer or t.v. and have nothing but news about the lockout when it comes to the NBA. Of course all of this would be happening when my favorite team actually has a chance of doing something good, when we have what every fan in the city wanted. A young team with players who have class, work hard, and show love for the community and their team. This is why I can't just stop caring about the NBA, I don't care about the "business side" of the league, there are actually some players that want to play the game to play the game, and its unfortunate that some of them just think of it as a business and a way of making money. What I'm basically trying to say here is this lockout SUCKS. :eyebrow:

SportsFanatic10
10-29-2011, 06:50 PM
lol damn thats a good read as usual!

tredigs
10-29-2011, 06:57 PM
And so the economic climate remains stormy, obama continues his campaign for most interviews unrelated to politics in presidential history, my penis hasn't been touched by another women in months, and the lockout for professional basketballers continues. And before it ever ends, we may go through grown beards, geographical landshifts, the birth and death of many generations of sports fans, revolutions on ruling classes berthed by previous revolutions of previous ruling classes, and maybe...hopefully...a huge asteroid descends towards earth and kills us all to end the agony and pain of what is the current reality - a basketballing-less universe.

Yes, gone are those days we get to watch Carmelo Anthony ball-stop the offense in the name of a 40 point outing, gone are those days we get to pay 86 dollars to watch the Lakers lollygag around the court for three quarters from the third deck, gone are the days we get to watch players feign rivalries between teams before they go out clubbing with each other after the game.

The fans, in spite of the ~10% unemployment rate, in spite of the growing detachment between sports athletes and their loyal fans, in spite of the owners' continuing rectitude which remains as invisible as Lebron's game in the fourth quarter, continue to sit by the door, wagging their tails, waiting, hoping, that maybe someone, anyone, in this NBA lockout will get off their plush, Italian-leathered couch and walk them.

But before we take out the pitchforks, perhaps we should understand, at the root of all this, why this is happening. Why any of this is happening, within and without the basketballing universe. And the fact of the matter is its just the hyperreality of capitalism my babies. And we are all witnesses of the marketability, the gross fabrication of fandom supported by the illusion of a mutual relationship between the teams and the people who adamantly support them like the abused wife in her trailer home trying convince the police that her husband is a good man.

Why does it shock fans that this lockout is so unconcerned with the fans? As players never seem to fail to spout during trade rumors and free agency, "This is a business". And the sole reason of a businesses' existence, and the raison d'etre of our capitalistic system itself, is to maximize profits. So even though its easy to view David Stern's as the symbol of our agony, as the great philosopher Ice-T once said, "Don't hate the playa, hate the game."

Nothing is more patriotic than to see these millionaires and billionaires fight over 1-2% of profits, its as emblematic of this great nation as watching a thousand pound family going out to McDonalds to try and add an extra roll of fat to their stomachs, or seeing a muscley macho man pick up lumber wood on his farm while his big-breasted wife watches from the porch drinking her lemonade, waiting to make sweet, passionate, sweaty love in the confines of their bedroom while their six children watch.
And we fail to see that. We are wondering why all this is happening like we just walked into capitalism last night. Even those jackrabbit, weed-smoking, dread-haired, Honda-driving neo-hippes camping out singing Kumbaya and Jack Johnson songs in their cargo shorts across major cities as part of the Occupy WallStreet campaign fail to realize. Having class warfare in a capitalistic system is like trying to abolish weed from a reggae concert.

Why should protestors of OWS expect the elite 1% to give an elephant's *** about the elongating gap between the upper and lower class? They tend to ask things like, "How can those rich executives drink sweet mary wine on their yachts, have Czech supermodels licking their toes all while being so oblivious and unconcerned with the down-trotted economy? Well, you know those moments where you want to upgrade your phone, and can't decide between an Android or iPhone4? Even though you have a perfectly decent phone already? Its kinda like that. Its kinda how you can go eat at a restaraunt with friends or family even though there's already plenty of food you left home in your fridge. Its kinda how you go to the mall to look for new sneakers even though you already have about 10 pairs of them in your closet. Its kinda how we continue to rev up our V8 engines and drive our vehicles everywhere in spite of its perilous contributions to the CO2 emissions that are destroying out atmosphere.

We don't need any of that, and while we're browsing our 60" LCD television screens checking out the 500 channels we just ordered we come across those commercials that show those starved and miserable Ethiopian children dying in their desolate home countries, and instead of considering just donating a meager 5 bucks our of our pockets to save a fcking life, we just change the channel.

There's a shark in our pool, but the weather is so hot, we continue to jump right in it.

The elitists care about us the same way we care about those Ethiopian kids. They aren't necessarily these cruel, dehumanized monsters so much as, like us, they are simply just comfortable in their own little lives, and its hard to look beyond that.

This Lockout will continue to tug and grind this way over that 1-2% because that's just the way capitalism goes. And if you want these lockouts to end, then the system itself needs to end.

But that won't happen. Because, in spite of the abuse the fans have been given, we will continue to write their paychecks and come crawling back to the stadiums, no matter how long their lockout takes. But I won't take part of it. As much as I love watching those professional basketballers, I don't want to follow a sport that has shown no respect to me. I just want that asteroid to wipe us all out, because we all have already been too overexposed to hypercapitalism, and all our brains have been too hard-wired to care about anything but ourselves.

The best (see: worst) part about this write up is that you use the collective "we" when talking about your own thoughts on the lockout/capitalism/whatever else. "I'm stupid, therefore we are stupid"; an unnecessary annoyance and a veil for insecurity my friend.

I'd break this piece down bit by bit, because I hate it that much. But I don't think that's going to do any of us any good (certainly not me...). Some food and some partying sound like the better option.

PS: You'll crawl back. Just wait.

SportsFanatic10
10-29-2011, 07:48 PM
^ wow chill out dude, your right you do need some partying. it looks like that part at the beginning where hoopsprophet says he hasn't had his penis touched by a woman in months applies to you as well.

Ovratd1up
10-29-2011, 08:59 PM
Is this too long to fit in a sig?

ink
10-29-2011, 09:43 PM
Is this too long to fit in a sig?

Hahaha. It is sig worthy isn't it.

lakers4sho
10-29-2011, 11:57 PM
As long as we participate and benefit from the system, there is little to no hope of eliminating it. Yes you might say that capitalism is evil [ which I think it is ], that it promotes a stark social inequality, but at the end of the day we are ultimately dependent on this machinery for our survival [ as well as luxury ]. We are at the mercy of this system no matter how much we don't like it. In a utopian state sure a redistribution of wealth works wonders no doubt, and of course we [ wishful thinking ] should strive for greater equity, but truth be told people are naturally greedy and we will resort to killing each other if all that's left are bread crumbs.

Same goes with our relationship with the NBA and other sports leagues. No matter how much we say we "hate" the owners for being "greedy bastards", or the players for "not giving up that extra percent", or David Stern for being Dan Gilbert's and Robert Sarver's personal sex slave, there is really nothing much more we can do. And whatever the result will be we will crawl back [ albeit to varying degrees ] begging for more basketball. Ultimately we are the ones enabling these guys, because it is our money that they are fighting over.

Yes unfortunately this is the current state of affairs but we have contributed [ and still are ] in the creation of this monster that we now seek to destroy. If we think about it, just about anything we do or have is linked to the promotion of capitalism in some sense, from the clothes we wear to the food we eat to the cars we drive to the computers or phones we use in accessing PSD.

lakers4sho
10-29-2011, 11:57 PM
- double post -

Sadds The Gr8
10-30-2011, 12:06 AM
:clap: