View Full Version : Best Mascot In NBA?

08-27-2011, 09:52 AM
a) chris "the boshosaurus (http://i.imgur.com/2ydYA.jpg)" bosh
this future hall of famer's explosive dunk moves are dino-mite, but the source of his dinomatics are from his sharp claws he calls finger nails, and his reptilian visage he calls a face.

b) brian "will shoot three for poetaytahs" scalabrine - He's a white Irish-American with the all too predictable alcoholism which he carries with him unto the court. Celitc fans loved this irishmen. He will be riverdancing his way into the Irish Basketball Hall of Fame before an Irishman can close his bar tab.

c) darius "I'd rather kush than swoosh" miles - No blazer could blaze through the open court better than him. Some might call him a bust, I call him the pride of hippie Portlandia and the brand of how Portland Blazeits should be played.

d) Michael "Club Dread" Olowonkakandi - Another proven example of how players with dreads never seem to reach their potential. He is the face of the Clippers franchise. Born to lose, faltered expectations, and the bearer of the tradition "this-is-the-season-the-clippers-turn-it-around" celebrated annually by sports fans everywhere.

e) Pau "Gasoline" Gasol - this grizzled beast has a beautiful ruggedness that can be appreciated in his natural habitat, so long as lurkers don't intervene. At a moment's notice he will eat your children.

f) Dwight "Fakey McSmiles" Howard - As you may know, the name for the Orlando NBA franchise was adopted from the local, world-renowned themepark down the block "Disneyworld". Disney corporates wanted the magic to be spread and indoctrinated to people beyond the pedophile-world of pantsless characters like Donald Duck paraded amongst the children. Fakey McSmiles surely fits the bill, of the Disney-character that seems to be loved by children and too-busy-to-take-care-of-their-kids-so-puts-on-the-movie mothers everywhere.

g) Javaris "gunslinger" Critterton - His actions have now made him a staple for this D.C. basketball franchise. But can he use his former wizardries to wiggle his way out from the law?

08-27-2011, 10:13 AM


08-27-2011, 11:10 AM
Brian Scalabrine is a god.

08-27-2011, 01:39 PM
I wish more people appreciated your threads. This is gold.

I gotta go with Bosh.

08-27-2011, 02:02 PM
HoopsProphet, if you want to write a comedy article then use a blog. These treads you start never create any discussion, please stop posting them here.