PDA

View Full Version : Don't Blame The World, Blame the Other World



TheHoopsProphet
06-30-2011, 01:57 AM
I can see it now, the Lakers are down 94-68 in the Michael Brown Hexagram Offense. Lamar is cracking jokesters with some 10-day call up about the weird and fat-bearded Laker fan (me) in the stands, Colby is staring into the existential abyss of the bell curve (or in his case the double-camel hump) of sports careers and legacies, contemplating murder, and Michael Brown is sporting that signature displeasured expression we’ve come to know in Cleveland where it looks like he just smelled Pau Gasol’s cheese-breath. But, amidst the ever-growing palpability of the fall of the Lakers empire, as a third guard like Norris Cole, Chris Singelton, Ricky Rubio or pretty much any other rookie guard playing in the league next year nonchalantly pushes the ball up court, then suddenly they’re stripped of the ball and he storms down the court for the mama-jama before Marv Albert’s attempted-enthusiastic call, “Ron Artest with the World-class dunk!”

Or would it be “Metta World Peace with the Bomb!”

Or when opposing players start dunking on him more frequently would they literally be on top of the world?

Or when Staples Center starts booing him for missing yet another open 3, should we just give Peace a chance?

Or when he goes to restaurants should the cooks be given a Nobel Peace Prize for ending world hunger?

It doesn’t really matter. Name-changing athletes preceding him had religious reasons or stories behind it. But we all know there is no political message, no significance, no story, no anything behind the new name aside from that eternal itch on his back that needs scratching from the public. Because the fact is, that when the neurological process of neurons contacting each other somewhere in the washy fluids of Ron’s brain to conglomerate an electocharge of some sort of imitation of a compound thought (an episode that attacks him once every changing of the seasons), it hadn’t reached his consciousness quick enough before he signed that legal document. And I have offered more than enough attention to this Hennesey-enthusiast’s gimmicky shenanigans for the last time.

But I don’t blame Ron Zombie, he’s just riding the wave of what may be the highest outbreak of narcissism ever known to the world (not him, the thing with all the dictators and duck-face Facebook profile pictures, nationalism, bloggers d’oh! , and corporate genocides). Somewhere up the road of the last half century, parents put down their belts and replaced it with piano lessons and convinced every one of their useless trails of their failed dreams that they were special. Capitalism has finally exceeded its limits into this hyperactive epidemic of me, me, me slowly imploding upon itself like a George Karl-coached team. And Kenyon Martin is leading us to the promise land! Him, along with the rest of the NBA superdome has become the perfect example of it all:


Lamar and Ron coming out with their own reality shows.
Steve Nash pursuing a Hollywood career possibly continuing the Air Bud film saga.
Colby riding to practice facilities in a personal helicopter.
Lebron Jams having his own cartoon sitcom about a kid who was spawned from the womb of a crackho sex lover.
Gilbert Arenas blogging about his life as a multi-million dollar couch potatoe while us fans witness his demise to bankruptcy where he will begin to have to eat his sharks.
Tony Parker making a hip-hop career trying to make five-o’clock shadows and pedophilia cool again.
Even NBA superstar Luol Deng teaming up with Macintosh to allow iPhone users to have their own "Luol Deng" (http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/the-luol-deng-app/id407730021?mt=8) app!


Hell, lets not forget the wellspring of twitter accounts and websites that NBA athletes put up, that have no other purpose then to say, “Hey world, guess what, I exist! And yes, I do enjoy pizza! Here are my fav toppings!” We are talking about websites that are taking space in the global bandwidth and the mass and energy of the physical universe like TJFord11.com, VinceCarter15.com, Devin34Harris.com, BlakeGriffin.com, KevinLove.org, MikeMiller33.com (didn’t the Heat retire Mourning’s number? If they havent, they will, and he will have to take this site down when they do), DahntayJones.com (learn how to shoot a basketball before trying to figure out what HTML stands for you scrub basket!), ChrisBosh.com (hasn‘t been updated since the preseason, much like his game), RubenPatterson4NAMBLA.org, ShawnKemp69.com, and of course JRSmith420.com.

These egomaniacs have gone to the point of no return, sporting shirts which promote their own existence! Like here (http://www.terezowens.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Lebron-James-Movie.jpg), here (http://i.imgur.com/gHr6h.jpg), here (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gMeCX-IXO-8/SnG-FdiveUI/AAAAAAAAEDA/uVPlYq_kdZ8/s400/dwyane-wade-jordan-welcome-home-shirt.jpg), here (http://lakers.topbuzz.com/gallery/d/271410-1/Kobe+Bryant+in+Singapore+gives+the+peace+sign+in+w hite+shirt.jpg), here (http://i.imgur.com/I7k2O.png), and here (http://www.firstclassfashionista.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/Lamar-Odom-and-Khloe-Kardashian-Together.jpg)(well I think its his Fattie McCheeseDoodle significant other’s fashion line, and she does look like a hairy lion. Plus I’m pretty sure he had to mug Samuel L. Jackson for that hat.)

Is this what this crapfest we call America has come to? Is it no wonder that we are falling economically, culturally, municipally. Even headlining games, we have stepped away from Road Team v.s. Home Team more to Star player v.s. shove-down-your-throat Star player. This NBA jerk-off fest is what, my friends, the end of capitalism looks like. With these self-centered ball bouncers feeling the worth of every penny of their engrossed incomes, and their masters who try and fill up their own bank accounts before trying to fill up the seats of their own stadiums. The reason us measly proletariats will have to live in the real world of our own problems instead of watching basketball this whole year, is because these figures have come to think that they are all Gods, and we are merely here to preach their gospel. And we created this monster, because we are the fumes that keep this capitalistic machine running.

So don’t blame Ron Zombie for the name change, blame ourselves. Besides, he’s a sensitive guy, and right now what the World needs now, is love, sweet love.

Sadds The Gr8
06-30-2011, 02:01 AM
I can see it now, the Lakers are down 94-68 in the Michael Brown Hexagram Offense. Lamar is cracking jokesters with some 10-day call up about the weird and fat-bearded Laker fan (me) in the stands, Colby is staring into the existential abyss of the bell curve (or in his case the double-camel hump) of sports careers and legacies, contemplating murder, and Michael Brown is sporting that signature displeasured expression we’ve come to know in Cleveland where it looks like he just smelled Pau Gasol’s cheese-breath. But, amidst the ever-growing palpability of the fall of the Lakers empire, as a third guard like Norris Cole, Chris Singelton, Ricky Rubio or pretty much any other rookie guard playing in the league next year nonchalantly pushes the ball up court, then suddenly they’re stripped of the ball and he storms down the court for the mama-jama before Marv Albert’s attempted-enthusiastic call, “Ron Artest with the World-class dunk!”

Or would it be “Metta World Peace with the Bomb!”

Or when opposing players start dunking on him more frequently would they literally be on top of the world?

Or when Staples Center starts booing him for missing yet another open 3, should we just give Peace a chance?

Or when he goes to restaurants should the cooks be given a Nobel Peace Prize for ending world hunger?

It doesn’t really matter. Name-changing athletes preceding him had religious reasons or stories behind it. But we all know there is no political message, no significance, no story, no anything behind the new name aside from that eternal itch on his back that needs scratching from the public. Because the fact is, that when the neurological process of neurons contacting each other somewhere in the washy fluids of Ron’s brain to conglomerate an electocharge of some sort of imitation of a compound thought (an episode that attacks him once every changing of the seasons), it hadn’t reached his consciousness quick enough before he signed that legal document. And I have offered more than enough attention to this Hennesey-enthusiast’s gimmicky shenanigans for the last time.

But I don’t blame Ron Zombie, he’s just riding the wave of what may be the highest outbreak of narcissism ever known to the world (not him, the thing with all the dictators and duck-face Facebook profile pictures, nationalism, bloggers d’oh! , and corporate genocides). Somewhere up the road of the last half century, parents put down their belts and replaced it with piano lessons and convinced every one of their useless trails of their failed dreams that they were special. Capitalism has finally exceeded its limits into this hyperactive epidemic of me, me, me slowly imploding upon itself like a George Karl-coached team. And Kenyon Martin is leading us to the promise land! Him, along with the rest of the NBA superdome has become the perfect example of it all:


Lamar and Ron coming out with their own reality shows.
Steve Nash pursuing a Hollywood career possibly continuing the Air Bud film saga.
Colby riding to practice facilities in a personal helicopter.
Lebron Jams having his own cartoon sitcom about a kid who was spawned from the womb of a crackho sex lover.
Gilbert Arenas blogging about his life as a multi-million dollar couch potatoe while us fans witness his demise to bankruptcy where he will begin to have to eat his sharks.
Tony Parker making a hip-hop career trying to make five-o’clock shadows and pedophilia cool again.
Even NBA superstar Luol Deng teaming up with Macintosh to allow iPhone users to have their own "Luol Deng" (http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/the-luol-deng-app/id407730021?mt=8) app!


Hell, lets not forget the wellspring of twitter accounts and websites that NBA athletes put up, that have no other purpose then to say, “Hey world, guess what, I exist! And yes, I do enjoy pizza! Here are my fav toppings!” We are talking about websites that are taking space in the global bandwidth and the mass and energy of the physical universe like TJFord11.com, VinceCarter15.com, Devin34Harris.com, BlakeGriffin.com, KevinLove.org, MikeMiller33.com (didn’t the Heat retire Mourning’s number? If they havent, they will, and he will have to take this site down when they do), DahntayJones.com (learn how to shoot a basketball before trying to figure out what HTML stands for you scrub basket!), ChrisBosh.com (hasn‘t been updated since the preseason, much like his game), RubenPatterson4NAMBLA.org, ShawnKemp69.com, and of course JRSmith420.com.

These egomaniacs have gone to the point of no return, sporting shirts which promote their own existence! Like here (http://www.terezowens.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Lebron-James-Movie.jpg), here (http://i.imgur.com/gHr6h.jpg), here (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gMeCX-IXO-8/SnG-FdiveUI/AAAAAAAAEDA/uVPlYq_kdZ8/s400/dwyane-wade-jordan-welcome-home-shirt.jpg), here (http://lakers.topbuzz.com/gallery/d/271410-1/Kobe+Bryant+in+Singapore+gives+the+peace+sign+in+w hite+shirt.jpg), here (http://i.imgur.com/I7k2O.png), and here (http://www.firstclassfashionista.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/Lamar-Odom-and-Khloe-Kardashian-Together.jpg)(well I think its his Fattie McCheeseDoodle significant other’s fashion line, and she does look like a hairy lion. Plus I’m pretty sure he had to mug Samuel L. Jackson for that hat.)

Is this what this crapfest we call America has come to? Is it no wonder that we are falling economically, culturally, municipally. Even headlining games, we have stepped away from Road Team v.s. Home Team more to Star player v.s. shove-down-your-throat Star player. This NBA jerk-off fest is what, my friends, the end of capitalism looks like. With these self-centered ball bouncers feeling the worth of every penny of their engrossed incomes, and their masters who try and fill up their own bank accounts before trying to fill up the seats of their own stadiums. The reason us measly proletariats will have to live in the real world of our own problems instead of watching basketball this whole year, is because these figures have come to think that they are all Gods, and we are merely here to preach their gospel. And we created this monster, because we are the fumes that keep this capitalistic machine running.

So don’t blame Ron Zombie for the name change, blame ourselves. Besides, he’s a sensitive guy, and right now what the World needs now, is love, sweet love.
:laugh:

i love this guy.

Jumba
06-30-2011, 02:02 AM
Classic

Chacarron
06-30-2011, 02:06 AM
Great points throughout. I always enjoy reading these.

210Don
06-30-2011, 02:19 AM
hmmmm.

Sandman
06-30-2011, 02:23 AM
lmao @ the tags for this thread

gonna jerk after this

Cano4prez
06-30-2011, 02:25 AM
Good stuff as always, OP

Cal827
06-30-2011, 02:41 AM
LMAO, best article I've read past 2:30am.

:clap::clap::clap:

PurpleJesus
06-30-2011, 02:48 AM
Hunter S. Thompson, is that you?

TrueFan420
06-30-2011, 02:59 AM
I can see it now, the Lakers are down 94-68 in the Michael Brown Hexagram Offense. Lamar is cracking jokesters with some 10-day call up about the weird and fat-bearded Laker fan (me) in the stands, Colby is staring into the existential abyss of the bell curve (or in his case the double-camel hump) of sports careers and legacies, contemplating murder, and Michael Brown is sporting that signature displeasured expression we’ve come to know in Cleveland where it looks like he just smelled Pau Gasol’s cheese-breath. But, amidst the ever-growing palpability of the fall of the Lakers empire, as a third guard like Norris Cole, Chris Singelton, Ricky Rubio or pretty much any other rookie guard playing in the league next year nonchalantly pushes the ball up court, then suddenly they’re stripped of the ball and he storms down the court for the mama-jama before Marv Albert’s attempted-enthusiastic call, “Ron Artest with the World-class dunk!”

Or would it be “Metta World Peace with the Bomb!”

Or when opposing players start dunking on him more frequently would they literally be on top of the world?

Or when Staples Center starts booing him for missing yet another open 3, should we just give Peace a chance?

Or when he goes to restaurants should the cooks be given a Nobel Peace Prize for ending world hunger?

It doesn’t really matter. Name-changing athletes preceding him had religious reasons or stories behind it. But we all know there is no political message, no significance, no story, no anything behind the new name aside from that eternal itch on his back that needs scratching from the public. Because the fact is, that when the neurological process of neurons contacting each other somewhere in the washy fluids of Ron’s brain to conglomerate an electocharge of some sort of imitation of a compound thought (an episode that attacks him once every changing of the seasons), it hadn’t reached his consciousness quick enough before he signed that legal document. And I have offered more than enough attention to this Hennesey-enthusiast’s gimmicky shenanigans for the last time.

But I don’t blame Ron Zombie, he’s just riding the wave of what may be the highest outbreak of narcissism ever known to the world (not him, the thing with all the dictators and duck-face Facebook profile pictures, nationalism, bloggers d’oh! , and corporate genocides). Somewhere up the road of the last half century, parents put down their belts and replaced it with piano lessons and convinced every one of their useless trails of their failed dreams that they were special. Capitalism has finally exceeded its limits into this hyperactive epidemic of me, me, me slowly imploding upon itself like a George Karl-coached team. And Kenyon Martin is leading us to the promise land! Him, along with the rest of the NBA superdome has become the perfect example of it all:


Lamar and Ron coming out with their own reality shows.
Steve Nash pursuing a Hollywood career possibly continuing the Air Bud film saga.
Colby riding to practice facilities in a personal helicopter.
Lebron Jams having his own cartoon sitcom about a kid who was spawned from the womb of a crackho sex lover.
Gilbert Arenas blogging about his life as a multi-million dollar couch potatoe while us fans witness his demise to bankruptcy where he will begin to have to eat his sharks.
Tony Parker making a hip-hop career trying to make five-o’clock shadows and pedophilia cool again.
Even NBA superstar Luol Deng teaming up with Macintosh to allow iPhone users to have their own "Luol Deng" (http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/the-luol-deng-app/id407730021?mt=8) app!


Hell, lets not forget the wellspring of twitter accounts and websites that NBA athletes put up, that have no other purpose then to say, “Hey world, guess what, I exist! And yes, I do enjoy pizza! Here are my fav toppings!” We are talking about websites that are taking space in the global bandwidth and the mass and energy of the physical universe like TJFord11.com, VinceCarter15.com, Devin34Harris.com, BlakeGriffin.com, KevinLove.org, MikeMiller33.com (didn’t the Heat retire Mourning’s number? If they havent, they will, and he will have to take this site down when they do), DahntayJones.com (learn how to shoot a basketball before trying to figure out what HTML stands for you scrub basket!), ChrisBosh.com (hasn‘t been updated since the preseason, much like his game), RubenPatterson4NAMBLA.org, ShawnKemp69.com, and of course JRSmith420.com.

These egomaniacs have gone to the point of no return, sporting shirts which promote their own existence! Like here (http://www.terezowens.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Lebron-James-Movie.jpg), here (http://i.imgur.com/gHr6h.jpg), here (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gMeCX-IXO-8/SnG-FdiveUI/AAAAAAAAEDA/uVPlYq_kdZ8/s400/dwyane-wade-jordan-welcome-home-shirt.jpg), here (http://lakers.topbuzz.com/gallery/d/271410-1/Kobe+Bryant+in+Singapore+gives+the+peace+sign+in+w hite+shirt.jpg), here (http://i.imgur.com/I7k2O.png), and here (http://www.firstclassfashionista.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/Lamar-Odom-and-Khloe-Kardashian-Together.jpg)(well I think its his Fattie McCheeseDoodle significant other’s fashion line, and she does look like a hairy lion. Plus I’m pretty sure he had to mug Samuel L. Jackson for that hat.)

Is this what this crapfest we call America has come to? Is it no wonder that we are falling economically, culturally, municipally. Even headlining games, we have stepped away from Road Team v.s. Home Team more to Star player v.s. shove-down-your-throat Star player. This NBA jerk-off fest is what, my friends, the end of capitalism looks like. With these self-centered ball bouncers feeling the worth of every penny of their engrossed incomes, and their masters who try and fill up their own bank accounts before trying to fill up the seats of their own stadiums. The reason us measly proletariats will have to live in the real world of our own problems instead of watching basketball this whole year, is because these figures have come to think that they are all Gods, and we are merely here to preach their gospel. And we created this monster, because we are the fumes that keep this capitalistic machine running.

So don’t blame Ron Zombie for the name change, blame ourselves. Besides, he’s a sensitive guy, and right now what the World needs now, is love, sweet love.

feel any better after getting that rant off your chest?

Khalifa21
06-30-2011, 07:27 AM
:laugh2:

JNA17
06-30-2011, 08:01 AM
I love this guy :laugh:

PHX2daDEATH
06-30-2011, 08:11 AM
LOL ESPN needs to hire this guy, Hell your're a better read then all the quacks @ yahoo Sports..

Raoul Duke
06-30-2011, 08:14 AM
Holy ****.

Will you marry me? If you're a man, thats still cool. I hear they just passed this thing in RI...

mttwlsn16
06-30-2011, 08:55 AM
feel any better after getting that rant off your chest?

shut up and learn your posters

jtsunami
06-30-2011, 09:02 AM
This was some great **** right here.

ttam68
06-30-2011, 09:06 AM
One of your best

king_of_limbs
07-02-2011, 02:21 AM
http://i.imgur.com/rrxoj.gif

marvILLous
07-02-2011, 02:32 AM
damn that was beast :clap:

brandon roy to grant hill haha

Byronicle
07-02-2011, 03:27 AM
this is just...perfect

xabial
07-02-2011, 04:08 AM
:laugh:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtNxKc8mKu8&NR=1

3ballbomber
07-02-2011, 04:49 AM
:clap:

bosox3431
07-02-2011, 05:42 AM
That was beautiful and awesome

John Walls Era
07-02-2011, 06:10 AM
Its well written, ESPN should hire you. But didn't you get banned because of this once?

koLohe2133
07-02-2011, 07:21 AM
Op you are always hilarious!

Raoul Duke
07-02-2011, 10:21 AM
Its well written, ESPN should hire you. But didn't you get banned because of this once?

Wow. That happened? Thats like punching your mom in the face after she just baked you a pie.

LionsFan..LOL
07-02-2011, 11:31 AM
Yes more Hoops Prophet! We are not worthy to be in the presence of such an amazing poster :worthy:

OG "Dee" LOCc
07-02-2011, 11:44 AM
Honestly the best written thing I've ever read on this website.

Slimsim
07-02-2011, 12:29 PM
Hoops DOes it again. we need more of your post during this lockout

RB#20
07-02-2011, 01:43 PM
Oh my ****ing mommy! The best topic off the NBA forum by far! Wow! I think this means that I have to change my sig to "where ALMOST nothing happens." This forum is nothing put lame *** polls of players who haven't even hit their slump yet and where they compare to players who are already HOF's, littered with over 250 LeBron hate threads and "Where will Dwight Howard land?" topics. This, people, is a goddamn gem! :clap:


1 Support the PSD Lock-Out!

Ovratd1up
07-15-2011, 02:39 AM
thanks

RaiderLakersA's
07-15-2011, 11:29 AM
That's good stuff.

Does this mean we won't see a Metta World Hoops(prophet) name change any time soon?

Hawkeye15
07-15-2011, 12:19 PM
since you miraculously didn't break any rules with this one, it can probably stay open. I always enjoy your stuff, you are a great writer

MrfadeawayJB
07-15-2011, 01:24 PM
This

Is

Awesome

:clap: