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PhightinPhan20
01-18-2011, 06:50 PM
The crap that comes out of NBA players' mouths keeps me constantly entertained. Found some of my favorites here:

http://sportingscribe.blogspot.com/2011/01/basketballs-15-funniest-quotes.html

But there are so many more that are slipping my mind right now. Got any good ones?

Gators123
01-18-2011, 06:53 PM
“A lot of them jump shots, the buttholes get tight.” -Rasheed Wallace

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/news?slug=aw-celticshoward051610

jimbobjarree
01-18-2011, 06:55 PM
Sloan comparing Kobe to miss America was a good one

bahama0811
01-18-2011, 06:56 PM
Practice, practice? We're talkin about practice?

PhightinPhan20
01-18-2011, 07:01 PM
Practice, practice? We're talkin about practice?

awww man. I think I tried to block that one out of my mind. Gotta love AI though.

MackShock
01-18-2011, 07:28 PM
Only the strong survive. - A.I.

MackShock
01-18-2011, 07:28 PM
I can accept failure. Everybody fails at something. But I cant accept not trying. - His airness

Y2JOrdan
01-18-2011, 07:44 PM
"If you meet the Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball." -- Phil Jackson

"I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok." --Shaquille O'Neal

RZZZA
01-18-2011, 07:50 PM
"I never said that I was a Republican. I said I was rich LIKE a Republican." - Charles Barkley

stawka
01-18-2011, 07:54 PM
http://www.shaqquotes.com/ lol

chicago lulz
01-18-2011, 07:55 PM
"I never said that I was a Republican. I said I was rich LIKE a Republican." - Charles Barkley

lol that's awesome

Ovratd1up
01-18-2011, 08:41 PM
"If you meet the Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball." -- Phil Jackson

"I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok." --Shaquille O'Neal

Awesome

Tony_Starks
01-18-2011, 08:51 PM
"You know what they say hand down, man down."
Delonte West




"Both teams played hard man..... God bless yall!"
Rasheed Wallace




"As long as they CTC. Thats Cut The Check"
Rasheed Wallace

MackShock
01-18-2011, 08:57 PM
hand down man down -- delonte and also mark jackson

marvILLous
01-18-2011, 09:02 PM
"I thought LeBron James was just going to be another addition to help me score,"

- Ricky Davis

The Final Boss
01-18-2011, 09:21 PM
"There's no doubt, Kobe is the best all-around player I've witnessed... And its not even close." - Hubie Brown

knicks4life33
01-18-2011, 09:39 PM
im taken my talents down to south beach- lebron

omdigga
01-18-2011, 09:53 PM
If the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love were on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs, even if they were coming in fuzzy.
-- Bobby Knight

PhightinPhan20
01-18-2011, 10:01 PM
"There's no doubt Kobe is the best all- around player I've witnessed... And its not even close." - Hubie Brown

Hubie couldn't have said it better.

ny212
01-18-2011, 10:39 PM
"they say you miss 100% of the shots you take"
"I'm not a typical point guard. I'm a playmaker. I make plays"
"I believe I'm like wine - the older I get the better I'm going get."

all by the "GOAT" MIKE JAMES

PhightinPhan20
01-19-2011, 09:52 AM
"they say you miss 100% of the shots you take"
"I'm not a typical point guard. I'm a playmaker. I make plays"
"I believe I'm like wine - the older I get the better I'm going get."

all by the "GOAT" MIKE JAMES

that first one is vintage GOAT:facepalm:

TheGoodGerman
01-19-2011, 09:58 AM
My game is tighter than virgin pink - Me











lol

hans dolo
01-19-2011, 10:08 AM
"hey kobe, tell me how my azz taste"

DenButsu
01-19-2011, 10:17 AM
One, and only one basketball quote towers above them all...


"Basketball jones, I got a basketball jones, I got a basketball jones, oooooohhh...." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIbp5C-5WXM)


.

JasonJohnHorn
01-19-2011, 10:34 AM
Foe. Foe. Foe. Moses

Foe. Fie. Foe. Moses

Crackadalic
01-19-2011, 10:35 AM
"People touching me. On our team we got a lot of young guys and they always want to poke at you and tickle you and stuff and I really hate that."

- Eddy Curry on his pet peeves

mttwlsn16
01-19-2011, 10:42 AM
1. "Basketball is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators." - Dick Vertlieb

Whats the "other one" ??

YankeeClipper5
01-19-2011, 10:48 AM
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

-Jason Kidd

YankeeClipper5
01-19-2011, 10:49 AM
I dont want to be the next Michael Jordan, I only want to be Kobe Bryant.

-Kobe Bryant

Bornknick73
01-19-2011, 11:23 AM
Sports Illustrated reported that before Chris Paul's infamous toast at Anthony's wedding,
LeBron James made a crack to Anthony: "If you want any chance against us in Miami, you'd better team up with Stoud in New York."

http://www.nypost.com/p/sports/knicks/walsh_tired_of_melo_questions_9TxrHaI8XVFlZJuYYh8u PI#ixzz1BUhMS1wO

DenButsu
01-19-2011, 11:34 AM
Sports Illustrated reported that before Chris Paul's infamous toast at Anthony's wedding,

http://www.nypost.com/p/sports/knicks/walsh_tired_of_melo_questions_9TxrHaI8XVFlZJuYYh8u PI#ixzz1BUhMS1wO

:yawn:

Sly Guy
01-19-2011, 11:47 AM
here are a few of mine:
"ooooOOOOOOooooohhh! Jams it in!"
"ooooOOOOOOooooohhh! Boomshakala!"
"He's heating up!"
"He's in fire!"
"rejected!"
"the rebound!"
"the steal!"
"Wiiiiiiide open!"
"from downtown!"
"ugly shot!"
"yes!"
"it's good!"
"swish!"

DenButsu
01-19-2011, 11:52 AM
As for the worst one:

"Bingo!"

PhightinPhan20
01-19-2011, 11:58 AM
here are a few of mine:
"ooooOOOOOOooooohhh! Jams it in!"
"ooooOOOOOOooooohhh! Boomshakala!"
"He's heating up!"
"He's in fire!"
"rejected!"
"the rebound!"
"the steal!"
"Wiiiiiiide open!"
"from downtown!"
"ugly shot!"
"yes!"
"it's good!"
"swish!"

you forgot "boom shacka lacka!!"

PhightinPhan20
01-19-2011, 05:10 PM
"I dunk on you"

-Dikembe

sep11ie
01-19-2011, 05:42 PM
Brook Lopez: How do I improve my rebounding?

Avery Johnson: Try jumping.

GodsSon
01-19-2011, 05:48 PM
1. "Basketball is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators." - Dick Vertlieb

Whats the "other one" ??

I don't know if you're being serious or are just like 12, in any event...

*SMACK*

Gators123
01-19-2011, 05:51 PM
Ball.

NIUHuskies
01-19-2011, 06:09 PM
Ball.

Ball don't lie.

TheWatcher34
01-19-2011, 07:46 PM
"I want to suck on D. Rose's balls and swallow them" -- the average 21st century Bulls fan (in the quest for historical greatness).

jasonbird
01-19-2011, 08:51 PM
http://www.shaqquotes.com/ lol


WOw,thanks for sharing...

SHAQ is funny guy,

all the best

RZZZA
01-19-2011, 08:53 PM
"I want to suck on D. Rose's balls and swallow them" -- the average 21st century Bulls fan (in the quest for historical greatness).

I would gladly take his balls in my mouth and gargle.

Signed, a Bulls fan

:cool:

dodie53
01-19-2011, 11:40 PM
^
^
wahahaha

MackShock
01-20-2011, 05:58 AM
"These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it."



- Charles Barkley

PhightinPhan20
01-20-2011, 12:05 PM
I would gladly take his balls in my mouth and gargle.

Signed, a Bulls fan

:cool:

Wow..that's slightly disturbing.

PhightinPhan20
01-21-2011, 12:19 PM
"they definitely won't make you handsome like me."

Charles Barkley

Good ol' delusional Charlie Brown.

PhightinPhan20
01-26-2011, 06:01 PM
As far as playing, I didn't care who guarded me - red, yellow, black. I just didn't want a white guy guarding me, because it's disrespect to my game.
-Larry Bird

PhightinPhan20
01-28-2011, 03:51 PM
But the point of using the number was to show that sex was a great part of my life as basketball was a great part of my life. That's the reason why I was single.
Wilt the Stilt

Maybe some current pro athletes should take some advice.

champ101695
01-28-2011, 03:56 PM
The anything is possible speech by KG after winning finals.

Raps18-19 Champ
01-28-2011, 03:57 PM
"We call this a 'Broke Back Mountain' game. Because there's so much penetrations and kickouts."-Phil Jackson

Klivlend
01-28-2011, 04:04 PM
"The older we get, the better we was.
-Sir Charles speaking to Magic

"It's not a problem if you can afford it."
-Sir Charles on his gambling...hobby

Kobes a Killer
01-28-2011, 04:13 PM
As far as playing, I didn't care who guarded me - red, yellow, black. I just didn't want a white guy guarding me, because it's disrespect to my game.
-Larry Bird

Hahahaha sweet!!! True though, no white dudes could stick with him

Kobes a Killer
01-28-2011, 04:16 PM
The anything is possible speech by KG after winning finals.

Ya I didn't like him screaming that crap, KG is way too emotional at times even though obviously it's hard to contain emotion in moments like winning an NBA championship I just think he sounded like an idiot. Another player like LeBron, I have tons and tons of respect for their game and what they've done so far in their career, I just hate their personality

PhightinPhan20
01-28-2011, 04:17 PM
^^Not too many dudes in general could stick with him. Sometimes I wonder if Bird was really white at all. Maybe he painted himself up like Eddie Murphy in that SNL skit back in the day.

Kashmir13579
01-28-2011, 05:04 PM
"I am the best PG in the NBA"

-Stephon Marbury

(my personal favorite)

Kashmir13579
01-28-2011, 05:07 PM
"I want to suck on D. Rose's balls and swallow them" -- the average 21st century Bulls fan (in the quest for historical greatness).
ha! THAT JUST HAPPENED

KingPosey
01-28-2011, 05:39 PM
here are a few of mine:
"ooooOOOOOOooooohhh! Jams it in!"
"ooooOOOOOOooooohhh! Boomshakala!"
"He's heating up!"
"He's in fire!"
"rejected!"
"the rebound!"
"the steal!"
"Wiiiiiiide open!"
"from downtown!"
"ugly shot!"
"yes!"
"it's good!"
"swish!"
NBA jam or NBA on NBC?

KingPosey
01-28-2011, 05:41 PM
"I want to suck on D. Rose's balls and swallow them" -- the average 21st century Rzzza (in the quest for historical greatness).

fixed.

Cromedome
01-28-2011, 05:45 PM
The ship be sinking.


Good grief.

Hustlenomics
01-28-2011, 05:54 PM
"I want to suck on D. Rose's balls and swallow them" -- the average 21st century Bulls fan (in the quest for historical greatness).

i've seen these posts a couple times

GSW Hoops
01-28-2011, 06:03 PM
As for the worst one:

"Bingo!"

Ah man, I cannot stand the Clips announcers, especially "BINGO!"

jezzyman05
01-28-2011, 06:07 PM
I have to look to the great Shaquille O'Neal for the best ones

"Some things you just can't question. Like you can't question why two plus two is four. So don't question it, don't try to look it up. I don't know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don't know." - Shaquille O'Neal

"I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA." - Shaquille O'Neal

"They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning." - Shaquille O'Neal


:laugh:

AIMelo=KillaDUO
01-28-2011, 06:09 PM
you forgot "boom shacka lacka!!"

and...

"HE's HEATING UP!"
"MONSTER JAM!"

ragee
01-28-2011, 06:14 PM
I heard a good quote from 2k11 and they say it was from Durant...

"Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard."

JayTee1981
01-28-2011, 06:15 PM
I have to look to the great Shaquille O'Neal for the best ones

"Some things you just can't question. Like you can't question why two plus two is four. So don't question it, don't try to look it up. I don't know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don't know." - Shaquille O'Neal

"I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA." - Shaquille O'Neal

"They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning." - Shaquille O'Neal


:laugh:

Priceless

Gators123
01-28-2011, 06:26 PM
http://www.pistonpowered.com/2011/01/bill-walton-describes-the-bad-boys-as-only-bill-walton-can/

Bill Walton On former Pistons Bill Laimbeer, Rick Mahorn and Dennis Rodman:

" They just made those decisions. That they were going to break all the rules of human decency."

:)

Confusious
01-29-2011, 12:23 AM
"Get in they salad!"
-Doc Rivers, Game 7 of finals.

PhightinPhan20
01-29-2011, 10:39 AM
http://www.pistonpowered.com/2011/01/bill-walton-describes-the-bad-boys-as-only-bill-walton-can/

Bill Walton On former Pistons Bill Laimbeer, Rick Mahorn and Dennis Rodman:

" They just made those decisions. That they were going to break all the rules of human decency."

:)

Too bad there's not a quote about that goofy mask Laimbeer had to wear.

Catoblepas
01-29-2011, 11:28 AM
"I think I'm the only player," Shaquille O'Neal said, "who looks at each and every center in the league and says, 'That's barbecue chicken down there."

Missing56&33
01-29-2011, 12:43 PM
When asked by a reporter how can Eddy Curry become a better rebounder ........Head coach Scott Skiles replied......"Jump".

Kobes a Killer
01-29-2011, 01:12 PM
As far as playing, I didn't care who guarded me - red, yellow, black. I just didn't want a white guy guarding me, because it's disrespect to my game.
-Larry Bird

What was he trying to say, when it didn't come to playing he wanted those type of people no where near him? Was Larry a racist? He was a white boy out of Indiana...

Ohhh to stir the pot

BucktownUSA
01-29-2011, 02:03 PM
good list

0nekhmer
01-29-2011, 02:12 PM
"WTF YOU GONNA DO?!" - Jay Triano
"WITH NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE" - Clark K
"BANG ON!" - Jack Armstrong
"HOW LONG ARE YOUU?" - Matt Devlin

Gators123
01-29-2011, 03:43 PM
When asked by a reporter how can Eddy Curry become a better rebounder ........Head coach Scott Skiles replied......"Jump".

:laugh2:

PhightinPhan20
01-30-2011, 12:51 AM
"I think I'm the only player," Shaquille O'Neal said, "who looks at each and every center in the league and says, 'That's barbecue chicken down there."

Looks like one of the few things I have in common with Eddie Curry.

JPHX
01-30-2011, 01:21 AM
bill waltons commentary on boris diaw is still a classic.

PhightinPhan20
01-30-2011, 01:34 AM
bill waltons commentary on boris diaw is still a classic.

it's not ringing a bell...

JPHX
01-30-2011, 01:41 AM
it's not ringing a bell...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KkrccHEAqg

DenButsu
01-30-2011, 02:04 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KkrccHEAqg

:laugh2: I love Bill Walton.

lkingratedr
01-30-2011, 02:37 AM
how do you forget the most memorable championship speech given by ron artest

shoutout to queens bridge id like to thank my therapist

PhightinPhan20
01-30-2011, 02:58 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KkrccHEAqg

HAHAHAHA...awesome.

pd1dish
01-30-2011, 03:14 AM
"Let's go out and play like we're Chicago on NBA Jam." - Rasheed Wallace

he yells "Ball Don't Lie" when a player misses a free throw after he thinks it shouldnt have been a foul - Rasheed Wallace

"Every time he took a shot he said `Don't worry young fella, I get paid for this. I get paid for doing this to you'," - Kwame Brown talking about Rasheed Wallace

http://www.detroitbadboys.com/2006/4/3/1214256/100-reasons-and-more-to-love

all of those from that site. i think those 3 were really funny but the site has a lot more

THE GIPPER
01-30-2011, 03:16 AM
hahaha when i think of boris diaw, i think of bethoven 201 years ago....

PhightinPhan20
01-30-2011, 08:44 PM
"Let's go out and play like we're Chicago on NBA Jam." - Rasheed Wallace

he yells "Ball Don't Lie" when a player misses a free throw after he thinks it shouldnt have been a foul - Rasheed Wallace

"Every time he took a shot he said `Don't worry young fella, I get paid for this. I get paid for doing this to you'," - Kwame Brown talking about Rasheed Wallace

http://www.detroitbadboys.com/2006/4/3/1214256/100-reasons-and-more-to-love

all of those from that site. i think those 3 were really funny but the site has a lot more

thanks for the link. Sheed quotes are quality.

Ray_R
01-30-2011, 10:50 PM
"I want to suck on D. Rose's balls and swallow them" -- the average 21st century Bulls fan (in the quest for historical greatness).
Word for word my thoughts. Wierd:confused:

I would gladly take his balls in my mouth and gargle.

Signed, a Bulls fan

:cool:
Co-sign

ďCímon, that is how guys get hurt, that is how serious injuries happen. Youíve got to watch peopleís legs. I know guys want to hustle and everything but we all want to play and provide for our families and have a job. We all want to be healthy and that is very important. If it is by somebodyís leg, donít dive for the ball, itís too close.Ē-CBosh

koetravis
01-30-2011, 11:11 PM
when lebron james dunked on somebody and the anouncer said "lebron james with no regaurd for human life." i was embarrassed!

Gram
01-30-2011, 11:14 PM
"I want to suck on D. Rose's balls and swallow them" -- the average 21st century Bulls fan (in the quest for historical greatness).


I would gladly take his balls in my mouth and gargle.

Signed, a Bulls fan

:cool:

Thanks for the new sig gentleman. ;)

PhightinPhan20
01-31-2011, 01:57 PM
Word for word my thoughts.

:p that's funny $@#$

PhightinPhan20
02-01-2011, 05:18 PM
“I'm not going to start the game by cracking a cat in the skull if I don't get elbowed first"
Sheed.

PhightinPhan20
02-20-2011, 11:18 AM
when lebron james dunked on somebody and the anouncer said "lebron james with no regaurd for human life." i was embarrassed!

When is Lebron gonna grow a set and break the glass already?

koLohe2133
02-20-2011, 11:57 AM
"**** you! You ******* piece of **** **** sucker!"- kg all day everyday

Basketball is like poetry in motion, cross the guy to the left, take him back to the right, he's fallin' back, then just J right in his face. Then you look at him and say, "What?"- Jesus shuttlesworth

"the mailman doesn't deliver on Sunday's"- mj to Karl Malone during the finals and Malone was at the charity stripe...he missed

PhightinPhan20
02-20-2011, 07:15 PM
"**** you! You ******* piece of **** **** sucker!"- kg all day .

Vintage.

Jap_Steak
02-20-2011, 11:12 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LfNQePa7Pc

Vlade on Horry's clutch shooting

He still mad.

PhightinPhan20
02-21-2011, 08:59 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LfNQePa7Pc

Vlade on Horry's clutch shooting

He still mad.

there's a good chance Vlade is Borat.

PhightinPhan20
02-27-2011, 10:52 AM
Any quotes on Carmelo?

tr3ymill3r
02-27-2011, 11:17 AM
Ball - Hedo Turkoglu.

PhightinPhan20
03-04-2011, 05:42 PM
Ball - Hedo Turkoglu.

I need a ruling. Does one word even qualify as a quote?

theheatles
04-03-2011, 04:57 PM
"We call this a 'Broke Back Mountain' game. Because there's so much penetrations and kickouts."-Phil Jackson

hahahah is this real, no ****ing way lol

oh man it is, i'm dying:laugh:

Sly Guy
04-03-2011, 05:05 PM
I need a ruling. Does one word even qualify as a quote?

does practice?

PhightinPhan20
02-02-2012, 11:22 PM
does practice?

ruling noted. on a side note, sixers are for real.

kdspurman
02-03-2012, 10:19 AM
Seeing some funny ones on here... That Phil Jackson broke back mountain one may be one of the best... Gotta throw some in here from Pop...

"Now, if a player does not have an altercation on or off the court once each month, we fine him. I've tried to get this into the press, but people won't pay attention. And, the guys who are our top four scorers, each of them will be required once every two months to appear on MTV. And the guys who shoot the worst free throws over a one-month period, the next time we have a TV game, they are required to look into the camera and beat their chests after they make a good play. I think then we will have a little bit different reputation." - Gregg Popovich.


"He's Manu Ginobili" - Gregg Popovich

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFU-wXsRhic

“We suck on 'D. Both individually and team-wise, we suck. We're pretty consistent that way. I don't know if I have an answer to that. If I did, we wouldn't suck quite so bad.” - Gregg Popovich

Reporter asked about Pop finally getting an IPhone.
Pop: "I dont tweet and I don't text". people tell me, 'I texted you'. I say, 'that's your fault"

He115ing
02-03-2012, 11:19 AM
"Kenny, that's tuuurrriible"- Barkley

JasonJohnHorn
02-03-2012, 12:27 PM
"People ask me: Are you going to be the next Michael Jordan? I say: No, I'm going to be the first Harold Miner."

Harold Miner (he should have stuck with being the next Michael Jordan).

Pierzynski4Prez
02-03-2012, 12:50 PM
"People touching me. On our team we got a lot of young guys and they always want to poke at you and tickle you and stuff and I really hate that."

- Eddy Curry on his pet peeves

Is that real?

Gritz
02-03-2012, 01:26 PM
"Lebron's mom got a big ol' booty"

"Go to your room Lebron"

"How do you feel about me moving in Lebron?"

- Delonte West

PhightinPhan20
02-03-2012, 05:52 PM
Is that real?

I agree. Thats kind of disturbing.