PDA

View Full Version : Worth A Laugh - Good Old Jay Mariotti



Fuselage
07-21-2008, 04:25 PM
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/football/bears/1065614,mariotti072108.stng

I used to despise Mariotti articles, but now I look forward to them. I get such a kick out of the way that little sissy writes. Remember the kid in grade school who always got made fun of & the crap beat out of him. Usually, they adjust later in life & get over their inferiority complex & move on. But sometimes they don't. I wonder when Jay will get over it. Hopefully not soon, because watching his inferiority complex play out in his writing is far more interesting than our QB battle.

There are so many things to have fun with in his most recent article that I don't where to begin. Why don't we have a little fun with his complex? How about if people post their favorite Jay moments so we can all have a laugh at them & therefore extract any true value his words have?

I'll start with his first sentence of his most recent article, which makes it into every article of his in some form or another: "First, let me apologize for the contrived farce I saw in a local rag." - The redheaded stepchild, shunned from the Tribune can't even begin to write any article without first referencing his smoldering anger. Not unlike in Milton's Paradise Lost, our castoff grumbles:

"The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.
What matter where, if I be still the same,
And what I should be, all but less than he
Whom thunder hath made greater? Here at least
We shall be free; the Almighty hath not built
Here for his envy, will not drive us hence:
Here we may reign secure; and, in my choice,
To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven."

Yes, Jay, you're free. Congratulations on achieving mediocrity.

4cubs
07-21-2008, 06:47 PM
That being said I have to agree with his main point; time to move past Rex.

Soop
07-21-2008, 06:57 PM
That being said I have to agree with his main point; time to move past Rex.

Not yet, this will be his last chance. Let's be a little more patient, we might have something. If he can fix his mistakes, which I believe he will...he could be pretty good. Get past the turnovers and we got a damn good QB.

4cubs
07-21-2008, 07:13 PM
Not yet, this will be his last chance. Let's be a little more patient, we might have something. If he can fix his mistakes, which I believe he will...he could be pretty good. Get past the turnovers and we got a damn good QB.This is a really big IF...

I'm trying to figure out why he would all of the sudden be poised. He is Kyle Farnsworth (Nuke LaLouche) with shoulder pads.

dyceman
07-21-2008, 07:31 PM
Not yet, this will be his last chance. Let's be a little more patient, we might have something. If he can fix his mistakes, which I believe he will...he could be pretty good. Get past the turnovers and we got a damn good QB.

Soop---I think that Rex needs some new fingers so he doesn't mess up
another 10 snaps from OK. Maybe a new butt, so he doesn't fall back
while he's throwing---kinda like old "Chrissie" Everett.

:smoking:

Soop
07-21-2008, 08:08 PM
This is a really big IF...

I'm trying to figure out why he would all of the sudden be poised. He is Kyle Farnsworth (Nuke LaLouche) with shoulder pads.
He's more like Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams.

Soop---I think that Rex needs some new fingers so he doesn't mess up
another 10 snaps from OK. Maybe a new butt, so he doesn't fall back
while he's throwing---kinda like old "Chrissie" Everett.

:smoking:

Rex's new hands (http://photobucket.com/image/robot%20hands/J-Sanity/the_robot_by_equilibrium3e.jpg?o=3)

jaycruz92
07-21-2008, 10:34 PM
id take orton because he doesnt have as many turnovers as rex but if we have orton in there we need a solid performance from the running game

cambovenzi
07-21-2008, 10:48 PM
grossman gives us a shot to win something.
not a hard decision IMO.

jay is a dumboat

superdude79
07-21-2008, 10:58 PM
Wow I could not even finish his whole article, too damn negative. Did Rex bang his wife or something? I mean I have no idea how old Mariotti is, but I figured out in about grade 6 that football is just a game, he writes like if the Bears start Grossman and lose he will have his nuts cut off as a result. Seriously though, I think he just writes outrageous negative pieces so people go to his articles and the sun-times gets advertising money.

BEARS+BULLS=:)
07-21-2008, 11:46 PM
^Marriotti just wants to be famous I hate when ppl think going on long stupid negative rants make u look like a badass, hes a wannabe Bruce Wolfe old sportscaster on fox news chicago lol I cant stand him n lmao when Ozzy treated his lame self

Fuselage
07-22-2008, 11:10 AM
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/mariotti/1067308,mariotti072208.article

In today's article, Jay is a little more subdued. Don't get me wrong - he still says incredibly stupid things about Urlacher like "he isn't a legend -- nor will he ever be."

But the point I want to make today is that once again, he shows his disdain for all media outlets that won't pay his check & can't hide his inferiority complex in today's red-headed stepchild quote "Urlacher blew it when he chatted up one of his hand-picked, non-Chicago conduits, Michael Silver of Yahoo! Sports"

- Jay still can't get over his bitterness that Urlacher had the gall to not come to him with his story first. Little Jay still can't figure out why no one goes to him with story leads. Do you think he'll ever realize it's because he's not a real journalist?

dyceman
07-22-2008, 11:15 AM
Wow I could not even finish his whole article, too damn negative. Did Rex bang his wife or something? I mean I have no idea how old Mariotti is, but I figured out in about grade 6 that football is just a game, he writes like if the Bears start Grossman and lose he will have his nuts cut off as a result. Seriously though, I think he just writes outrageous negative pieces so people go to his articles and the sun-times gets advertising money.

Boy you hit the nail right on the head...I've said before that Mariotti just likes to stir it up. As much as I hate him, he is the first column that I read every morning. I wish I could stop...maybe I need to go to Mariotti Anonymous group meetings.

Soop
07-22-2008, 11:36 AM
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/mariotti/1067308,mariotti072208.article

In today's article, Jay is a little more subdued. Don't get me wrong - he still says incredibly stupid things about Urlacher like "he isn't a legend -- nor will he ever be."
But the point I want to make today is that once again, he shows his disdain for all media outlets that won't pay his check & can't hide his inferiority complex in today's red-headed stepchild quote "Urlacher blew it when he chatted up one of his hand-picked, non-Chicago conduits, Michael Silver of Yahoo! Sports"

- Jay still can't get over his bitterness that Urlacher had the gall to not come to him with his story first. Little Jay still can't figure out why no one goes to him with story leads. Do you think he'll ever realize it's because he's not a real journalist?
How the hell can he say that? What a douche.

:pray: Dear Lord, please let Mariotti join PSD so we all can tell him that we think he's a POS. :pray:

Fuselage
07-22-2008, 12:25 PM
I know. It's utterly absurd. He has to write eye-catching phrases that make no sense because there's no other worthwhile reading in his articles. At least he can still cling to the title of "Best Writer on the Short Bus" every morning on the way to work.

Soop
07-22-2008, 12:46 PM
I know. It's utterly absurd. He has to write eye-catching phrases that make no sense because there's no other worthwhile reading in his articles. At least he can still cling to the title of "Best Writer on the Short Bus" every morning on the way to work.

If I ever see him, I won't hesitate to drop kick him.

beardown1985
07-22-2008, 01:25 PM
Mariotti epitomizes everything wrong with sports media. He makes a living bad-mouthing people he has never met before in his life and speaks on things that he is completely ignorant of. He tries to use rhetoric to make himself sound a lot smarter than he is, but it is always easy to see that he doesn't have a clue what is really going on.

I'm not going to waste my time reading Mariotti's garbage.

ImGoinToJackson
07-22-2008, 02:21 PM
Back in my early 20's the bears sucked (wannstadt-Juaron era) and I lived far away from Illinois or anything that might consider keeping me updated on them. I couldn't afford subscriptions to anything so i was in the dark on all things Chicago.
There used to be a sports radio network called One-on-One Sports, and every so often Mariotti would co-host and never failed to bring up the Chicago sports scene. He was all I had; I picked up the transmission when weather permitted. I couldn't get internet, cable, or satellite where I lived. I was always hungry to hear Mariotti on the now defunct sports radio shows b/c he kept me abreast of my favorite sports town. True, he was a blowhard then, but he serves his purpose to this day; the foil. I moved, got hi-speed internet & stopped reading his articles now b/c thanks to foxsports.com I found you guys. There are a lot of you that can be pretty negative as well; myself included.
I wonder if he truly is a fan, who like many of us, let our emotions out in a negative manner and convey them as such? It's hard not to stay upset when things don't seem to go our way.
I know this is long but at least it's not Milton....;)

Bearscubs4life
07-22-2008, 03:25 PM
I would take a felony charge just to hit Mariotti with a brick.

DamnGoat
07-22-2008, 03:38 PM
Just reading the title "Because his name isn't Rex, Orton should be starter" was enough for me.

Mariotti truly is one of the biggest idiots out there. He can't make an impartial, unbiased argument to save his life.

Fuselage
07-22-2008, 06:47 PM
I know this is long but at least it's not Milton....;)

I admit the Milton was pretty over the top. And you're right - he serves as a foil to other writers.

Fuselage
07-22-2008, 06:52 PM
Just reading the title "Because his name isn't Rex, Orton should be starter" was enough for me.

Mariotti truly is one of the biggest idiots out there. He can't make an impartial, unbiased argument to save his life.

Couldn't agree more. Is it possible for you to edit your avitar so that you have the guy from office space punching Mariotti? I know he's not worth it, but it would be pretty sweet to see that for at least a few days.

superdude79
07-23-2008, 02:59 AM
If I ever see him, I won't hesitate to drop kick him.

This is a vow all loyal Bears fans must take, and players too if they are sure they won't get caught. I would actually support another year of Turner as the OC if he would do it, and post it on youtube.

Fuselage
07-23-2008, 11:10 AM
This is a vow all loyal Bears fans must take, and players too if they are sure they won't get caught. I would actually support another year of Turner as the OC if he would do it, and post it on youtube.

Aren't there already enough girl fight clips on youtube?