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View Full Version : Mitch Doing Everything He Can: Day 2,778



TheHoopsProphet
07-16-2008, 11:05 PM
Sources from the Onion state that Mitch Kupchak was once again caught sleeping in his home late in the evening. Son Jim Buss, irate by Mitch's non-assertive actions, talked to the media making a vehement public statement, "He's not getting it done." The quote, perhaps a prelude to the firing of the 8 year Laker GM, shows a lot of stress and impatience coming from the Lakers organization. Plenty of things have happened during the time Mitch was busy sleeping his time away. Elton Brand signed with the 76ers, Corey Maggette signed with the Warriors, Baron Davis signed with the Clippers, and now Camby was traded to the Clippers. And judging from Clippers GM Elgin Baylor's baggy eyes he's not busy sleeping in the evening, he's doing his job.

"I need to sleep. This is ridiculous." Mitch stated when interviewed by the Onion, "I am only human. I am doing every I can, and sometimes the best move a GM can make in the off-season is no move at all." But don't tell lifelong Laker fan and 18 year season ticket holder Nye Eve that, "We're the mother[expleted]ing Lakers! Lamar Odom is a loser, and losers don't play for the Lakers! Trade him for Antwan Jamison, Agent Zero, Caron Butler and the franchise's 1978 title! Then we just may be good enough to make the Finals." When told franchises can’t trade away history she stated, “Then just trade for LeBron James, he plays the three spot doesn’t he?”

Perhaps Mitch does have some biological justification for his need for sleep, but it goes further then that. Just the other evening Mitch was caught in an LA restaurant eating with his wife, and a week before that playing with his children at a local park. Mitch’s wife declined for interview yelling, “Leave me alone!” when approached in a public restroom. Clearly, her lawyers told her to stay quiet.

“It’s become clear being the Lakers GM isn’t his number one priority,” Jim Buss continued in his public address, “and if changes aren’t made in his personal life, I’m going to have to be his successor.” Perhaps Buss could be his successor. After all he was the one who suggested on drafting Andrew Bynum. And rumor has it he even drafts women adequate enough to play the role of the Laker girl. “Haven’t you seen those legs on those girls, they go for miles,” Buss stated, “No injuries and few off-court altercations from these girls.”

Buss concluded the interview with the media on an ultimatum for Mr. Kupchack, “Either bring in a couple of all-stars this summer, or he can pack his bags right out of this city. I’m sure he’ll have plenty of time to spend 1/3 of his day sleeping then.” Jim Buss lighted his Cuban cigar and promptly walked away from the cameras and back into the strip club.

QBRONX
07-17-2008, 12:55 AM
Sources from the Onion state that Mitch Kupchak was once again caught sleeping in his home late in the evening. Son Jim Buss, irate by Mitch's non-assertive actions, talked to the media making a vehement public statement, "He's not getting it done." The quote, perhaps a prelude to the firing of the 8 year Laker GM, shows a lot of stress and impatience coming from the Lakers organization. Plenty of things have happened during the time Mitch was busy sleeping his time away. Elton Brand signed with the 76ers, Corey Maggette signed with the Warriors, Baron Davis signed with the Clippers, and now Camby was traded to the Clippers. And judging from Clippers GM Elgin Baylor's baggy eyes he's not busy sleeping in the evening, he's doing his job.

"I need to sleep. This is ridiculous." Mitch stated when interviewed by the Onion, "I am only human. I am doing every I can, and sometimes the best move a GM can make in the off-season is no move at all." But don't tell lifelong Laker fan and 18 year season ticket holder Nye Eve that, "We're the mother[expleted]ing Lakers! Lamar Odom is a loser, and losers don't play for the Lakers! Trade him for Antwan Jamison, Agent Zero, Caron Butler and the franchise's 1978 title! Then we just may be good enough to make the Finals." When told franchises can’t trade away history she stated, “Then just trade for LeBron James, he plays the three spot doesn’t he?”

Perhaps Mitch does have some biological justification for his need for sleep, but it goes further then that. Just the other evening Mitch was caught in an LA restaurant eating with his wife, and a week before that playing with his children at a local park. Mitch’s wife declined for interview yelling, “Leave me alone!” when approached in a public restroom. Clearly, her lawyers told her to stay quiet.

“It’s become clear being the Lakers GM isn’t his number one priority,” Jim Buss continued in his public address, “and if changes aren’t made in his personal life, I’m going to have to be his successor.” Perhaps Buss could be his successor. After all he was the one who suggested on drafting Andrew Bynum. And rumor has it he even drafts women adequate enough to play the role of the Laker girl. “Haven’t you seen those legs on those girls, they go for miles,” Buss stated, “No injuries and few off-court altercations from these girls.”

Buss concluded the interview with the media on an ultimatum for Mr. Kupchack, “Either bring in a couple of all-stars this summer, or he can pack his bags right out of this city. I’m sure he’ll have plenty of time to spend 1/3 of his day sleeping then.” Jim Buss lighted his Cuban cigar and promptly walked away from the cameras and back into the strip club.
yeah right and u got this story how ? lol lmfao !

lakers4sho
07-17-2008, 01:00 AM
Shoutout to Frank_003!! :D

QUICKTRADE
07-17-2008, 01:16 AM
thats a bold move by jim buss

lakers4sho
07-17-2008, 01:23 AM
thats a bold move by jim buss

You do know that THP made the article up, right?

Iceman_9
07-17-2008, 02:24 AM
Sources from the Onion state that Mitch Kupchak was once again caught sleeping in his home late in the evening. Son Jim Buss, irate by Mitch's non-assertive actions, talked to the media making a vehement public statement, "He's not getting it done." The quote, perhaps a prelude to the firing of the 8 year Laker GM, shows a lot of stress and impatience coming from the Lakers organization. Plenty of things have happened during the time Mitch was busy sleeping his time away. Elton Brand signed with the 76ers, Corey Maggette signed with the Warriors, Baron Davis signed with the Clippers, and now Camby was traded to the Clippers. And judging from Clippers GM Elgin Baylor's baggy eyes he's not busy sleeping in the evening, he's doing his job.

"I need to sleep. This is ridiculous." Mitch stated when interviewed by the Onion, "I am only human. I am doing every I can, and sometimes the best move a GM can make in the off-season is no move at all." But don't tell lifelong Laker fan and 18 year season ticket holder Nye Eve that, "We're the mother[expleted]ing Lakers! Lamar Odom is a loser, and losers don't play for the Lakers! Trade him for Antwan Jamison, Agent Zero, Caron Butler and the franchise's 1978 title! Then we just may be good enough to make the Finals." When told franchises can’t trade away history she stated, “Then just trade for LeBron James, he plays the three spot doesn’t he?”

Perhaps Mitch does have some biological justification for his need for sleep, but it goes further then that. Just the other evening Mitch was caught in an LA restaurant eating with his wife, and a week before that playing with his children at a local park. Mitch’s wife declined for interview yelling, “Leave me alone!” when approached in a public restroom. Clearly, her lawyers told her to stay quiet.

“It’s become clear being the Lakers GM isn’t his number one priority,” Jim Buss continued in his public address, “and if changes aren’t made in his personal life, I’m going to have to be his successor.” Perhaps Buss could be his successor. After all he was the one who suggested on drafting Andrew Bynum. And rumor has it he even drafts women adequate enough to play the role of the Laker girl. “Haven’t you seen those legs on those girls, they go for miles,” Buss stated, “No injuries and few off-court altercations from these girls.”

Buss concluded the interview with the media on an ultimatum for Mr. Kupchack, “Either bring in a couple of all-stars this summer, or he can pack his bags right out of this city. I’m sure he’ll have plenty of time to spend 1/3 of his day sleeping then.” Jim Buss lighted his Cuban cigar and promptly walked away from the cameras and back into the strip club.

Where did you get this info? any links? If this is true, then Mitch is officially a moron. After a humiliating loss to the Celts in Game 6, he is telling us that the best move is to not make any move? What the h***?:mad:

joechoe
07-17-2008, 02:31 AM
I'm really amused that people don't know what the onion is.:clap:

lakers4sho
07-17-2008, 02:44 AM
I'm really amused that people don't know what the onion is.:clap:

The article is not even written by the Onion lol :D

AllTheWay
07-17-2008, 02:54 AM
I pity the morons who actually believe this to be true

innovator
07-17-2008, 05:54 AM
shut up he will do what he thinks is right.. he did get us gasol for garbage

GermanLakersFan
07-17-2008, 07:25 AM
Where did you get this info? any links? If this is true, then Mitch is officially a moron. After a humiliating loss to the Celts in Game 6, he is telling us that the best move is to not make any move? What the h***?:mad:

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
Hey, I'm sorry buddy but u just cracked me up. The Dude who posted it made up the whole story, non of this is true. He's bullsh**in' us. I got to admit he got u good ;). No need to worry or get annoyed just a fairy tale.:smoking:

Iceman_9
07-17-2008, 10:08 AM
:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
Hey, I'm sorry buddy but u just cracked me up. The Dude who posted it made up the whole story, non of this is true. He's bullsh**in' us. I got to admit he got u good ;). No need to worry or get annoyed just a fairy tale.:smoking:

Hahaha! I thought it was real that why I asked for a link. How stupid of me.:bang:

Thanks buddy! I owe you one.:D

jayo2k4
07-17-2008, 10:27 AM
Sources from the Onion state that Mitch Kupchak was once again caught sleeping in his home late in the evening. Son Jim Buss, irate by Mitch's non-assertive actions, talked to the media making a vehement public statement, "He's not getting it done." The quote, perhaps a prelude to the firing of the 8 year Laker GM, shows a lot of stress and impatience coming from the Lakers organization. Plenty of things have happened during the time Mitch was busy sleeping his time away. Elton Brand signed with the 76ers, Corey Maggette signed with the Warriors, Baron Davis signed with the Clippers, and now Camby was traded to the Clippers. And judging from Clippers GM Elgin Baylor's baggy eyes he's not busy sleeping in the evening, he's doing his job.

"I need to sleep. This is ridiculous." Mitch stated when interviewed by the Onion, "I am only human. I am doing every I can, and sometimes the best move a GM can make in the off-season is no move at all." But don't tell lifelong Laker fan and 18 year season ticket holder Nye Eve that, "We're the mother[expleted]ing Lakers! Lamar Odom is a loser, and losers don't play for the Lakers! Trade him for Antwan Jamison, Agent Zero, Caron Butler and the franchise's 1978 title! Then we just may be good enough to make the Finals." When told franchises can’t trade away history she stated, “Then just trade for LeBron James, he plays the three spot doesn’t he?”

Perhaps Mitch does have some biological justification for his need for sleep, but it goes further then that. Just the other evening Mitch was caught in an LA restaurant eating with his wife, and a week before that playing with his children at a local park. Mitch’s wife declined for interview yelling, “Leave me alone!” when approached in a public restroom. Clearly, her lawyers told her to stay quiet.

“It’s become clear being the Lakers GM isn’t his number one priority,” Jim Buss continued in his public address, “and if changes aren’t made in his personal life, I’m going to have to be his successor.” Perhaps Buss could be his successor. After all he was the one who suggested on drafting Andrew Bynum. And rumor has it he even drafts women adequate enough to play the role of the Laker girl. “Haven’t you seen those legs on those girls, they go for miles,” Buss stated, “No injuries and few off-court altercations from these girls.”

Buss concluded the interview with the media on an ultimatum for Mr. Kupchack, “Either bring in a couple of all-stars this summer, or he can pack his bags right out of this city. I’m sure he’ll have plenty of time to spend 1/3 of his day sleeping then.” Jim Buss lighted his Cuban cigar and promptly walked away from the cameras and back into the strip club.

I'm glad that the other lakers fan are not like him orthewise i would have concidering suporting another team with REAL fan & real home court support, because the staples center is just too damn quite.. i mean u can prepare ur exam during a lakers game just to show u how quite it is

Jetracer
07-17-2008, 11:31 AM
lol I love this article, even if it is made up. Too much man loving for Artest going around in here.

LA_Raiders
07-17-2008, 12:40 PM
Nice Story...

itzDarOc
07-17-2008, 12:58 PM
yawn, you really need to get a life dude.

8kobe24
07-17-2008, 01:39 PM
Great tale. Would be hilarious if it were true.

Frank_003
07-17-2008, 05:02 PM
yah it's funny, that the only story that anyone can post about Mitch or the Lakers is a totally made-up one.

Frank_003
07-17-2008, 05:03 PM
errrrrrrrrrrr, because no other stories exist

Frank_003
07-17-2008, 05:06 PM
see I thought this post was going to be extolling the virtues of what Mitch is doing... not a sarcastic jab implying that because he sleeps or eats then we don't think he doing anything...

but anyways... yeah, he is doing all he can. I'm just calling it like I see it.

actually, I'd be MUCH more confident in Mitch, if he was just forcefully "This is our team, we're happy with the squad, making no moves, continue to develop." Re-sign Turiaf and Sasha. Have a few media interviews talking about things progressing.

I don't like the feel that they are TRYING to get all these deals done but are just totally hapless

Frank_003
07-17-2008, 05:13 PM
I mean, I remember, like 17 years ago, my girlfriends brother worked for JB, and I got to go to the "inner" Forum club a few times, and I would hear kind of the "inside story" of what people thought. Also, her brother and I would have intense Laker discussions and I would hear interesting things. If I got too stuck on a point, he could be like "well Magic said this", and that would shut me up.

For instance, how angry everybody was at 3pt shot that Byron missed when Lakers lost to Phoenix in 92(?) playoffs.

I don't have any connections now... I don't know, does anybody have an idea, what are the insiders feeling/saying/thinking about all this? Not "insiders" like JB and Mitch, I mean, I'm sure that is the inner inner circle of trust that is only like 3 people. Everyone else is just guessing and second guessing. Knowledge is power. But kind of the in-crowd inner, what are they thinking. specifically

1. How did everyone react to the brutal devastating loss to the Celts? How, privately, was being blamed?

2. Is everything forgiven with Kobe, or is there still some resentment?

3. Do people feel like there needs to be some kind of trade, that the team needs to get tougher/stronger/better defensively?

4. Do people second-guess PHil, that maybe he has "lost it" and needs to open his mind a bit?

5. Since the gAsol trade, is everyone just totally enamored with Mitch, or is there still some doubts?

6. Does everyone just feel that Bynum is the next shaq or is there some grumbling going on already?

Frank_003
07-18-2008, 02:17 PM
oh yes, the other thing my friend and me argued about, was whether Doug Christie was a true point guard.

I said "NO", for various reasons (crazy shots and decisions, more of a small forward, etc etc) but then he brought out the big guns, and said "MAGIC says he is a true point guard", so then that shut me up.

However, in retrospect, I was actually right about that one ...