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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    5,541

    K Adam Vinatieri - Signs With GB ($VMSB)

    Adam,

    We have a haiku for you:

    You're good at kicking
    Your butt is sexy dude man
    Green Bay likes grey hair

    Be a Packer. VMSB plus all the cheese and Rubenesque women you can handle.
    POOP

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Richmond, VA
    Posts
    39,282
    Hey Adam,

    Your buddy Peyton had a great final ride with us....why not do that same? We're not artsy enough to come up with a haiku for you, but we have thinner air to make the ball travel further....


    VMSB.

    PROCESSING

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    5,541
    Hey Adam,

    Got another haiku for you:

    We got our punter
    and our long snapper as well
    Gee, kickers are swell

    This one even rhymes!

    #cometogreenbay
    #denveriskillingthearts
    #wehavejeffjanis
    POOP

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    5,541
    Haiku, the third

    Come sign with us please
    Wisconsin has lots of cheese
    A fifth ring you need

    Let's make it happen Adam.
    POOP

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Richmond, VA
    Posts
    39,282
    They can write Haikus, but here's a poem:

    Come to the orange and blue
    We have a Super Bowl ring for you
    The ball goes far in the thin air
    We have no problem with your grey hair
    We know your from South Dakota
    So we know you have a jacket from Patagonia
    Your career started in Amsterdam
    Being in Denver with strengthen your diaphragm
    You've had nicknames like "Iceman" and "Mr. Clutch"
    Where here in Denver the back of the end zone your kickoff will touch

    PROCESSING

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    5,541
    Adam, we were going to write you a sonnet. Then we got two lines in and realized this has gotten out of hand. Just sign with the Packers.
    POOP

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    5,541
    Ok, ok, we get it Adam, you're the artsy type. So we decided to go past writing a sonnet. Here's the chorus to some of the songs on the album we're currently producing about you:

    Kick us a kick, you're the kicker man
    Kick us a kick tonight
    Well, we're all in the mood for a field goal
    And you've got us feelin' alright

    And who could forget this instant classic?

    Bye, bye Mister Kicker Pie
    Drove my injury cart to the uprights but the uprights were dry
    And them good ole boys were drinking gatorade and rye
    Singin' this'll be the day the ball flies
    This'll be the day the ball flies

    Here's a fan favorite:

    In Green Bay
    Cheesy jungle where kicks are made of
    There's nothing you can't kick
    Now you're in Green Bay
    These streets will make you feel brand new
    Big lights will inspire you
    Let's hear it for Green Bay, Green Bay, Green Bay

    And of course, the big one:

    We are the kickers, my friends
    And we'll keep on kicking till the end
    We are the kickers, we are the kickers
    No time for punters 'cause we are the kickers
    Of the football

    The album will be available to the public for $12.99 on Opening Day. Naturally a pre-release copy will be sent to you free of charge upon you signing with the Packers. Here's the complete song list:

    Kick Me Baby One More Time
    Stairway to Kickers
    Smells Like Kicker Spirit
    Bohemian Rhapsody (The Kicker Remix ft. Mike Vanderjagt)
    God Save the Kicker
    Green Bay State of Mind
    Kick Me Maybe
    Hotel Kicker
    Kicker Man
    Jonny B Kicker
    Every Breath You Kick
    I Will Always Kick You
    Kicker Pie
    We Are the Kickers
    Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I Made You Out of Kickers (Also ft. Mike Vanderjagt)
    Smoke on the Kicker
    My Heart Will Kick On

    We hope to get the Grammy campaign going sometime around the Divisional Round. Now, obviously, you'll be busy kicking then, but we're planning a big PR blitz on Super Bowl media day, where we also plan to release the final song on the album, the long awaited sequel to the Super Bowl Shuffle, the Kicker Kicking Shuffle. So what do you say, Adam. Come win the Super Bowl with us and win some Grammy's while you're at it.
    POOP

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