1 DUI is awful. 2 is inexcusable and a sign the guy needs help. Hope he goes to AA and gets the help he needs.
1 DUI is awful. 2 is inexcusable and a sign the guy needs help. Hope he goes to AA and gets the help he needs.
^ AA is a freaking joke.
It is a sign someone needs help.
It's also a sign someone is just stupid and makes repeatable mistakes and didn't learn from the first one.
It does NOT mean he is an alcoholic. It means he was stupid enough to do it again after being caught once. He should know better, and he has the means to pay for a cab. Just stupid decisions.
Hopefully he has learned his lesson. I learned mine.
It just drives me nuts when people automatically assume this means someone is an alcoholic, and AA is a freaking joke, might be one of the worst organizations in America.
If you are an alcoholic, AA might help you. But there are other ways. The way this country handles drunk driving is a joke in of itself.
1. It bothers me that cops will go down the street and wait to pick off drunk drivers from a down town area. Why not just sit out side the bar and give people breathalizers that are considering driving home? No. Because it's a revenue generator. Even though doing it once can cost many people their jobs, and really be a sign of ruin.
2. Alcoholism, while I agree is a disease and is no joking matter. It's also a dependency and usually a sign of a lack of self control and self discipline. You don't HAVE to drink. You went a number of years in your lifetime without alcohol. You need to learn to control yourself. To take things in moderation. I used to drink every single night. I am a social drinker. I don't drink much anymore, but that's because I was spending too much money and got two DUIs. I learned to manage myself. I didn't want to. I wanted to keep being that social and go out and just have the freedom. Or if I had a ****** day to go **** off with my friends and get trashed. Now I rarely get drunk, and it's usually in the safety of my own home or in a situation where I know I don't have to drive, or have no problem cabbing home if I need to.
AA preys on the weak willed and weak minded. If drinking is messing things up in your life. Just ****ing stop. It's not an addictive solution. It's something you CAN quit, or even moderate if you need to. You need to have the discipline to stop. I'm not everybody, I know there are people with stories about how horrible drinking has been in their lives, or someone they know and how it has ruined things. Maybe I haven't been around it to really know well enough. But I know a ton of people with DUI's. I know a ton of people that used to drink daily. And I have never seen anybody who couldn't just stop. Those that continued to have huge drinking issues it was because they lacked the self discipline to just quit. To choose to want to be sober. This is one of those things that is actually a choice. Not like being gay. This is an addiction. all addictions are choices to move on from. Some harder than others. The one thing that I personally have seen consistently is that someone chooses to want to quit, versus enjoying it enough that they don't want to quit despite what sacrifices it might cost them.
I'm not hear to slam those that might have a true addiction to alcohol. Maybe it is worse than I would know or have seen. When I got a second DUI, everyone just assumed I was an alcoholic. My parents, my siblings, many friends, even the state. Nope, was just ****ing stupid enough to drive home one night after drinking too much, and a few years later managed to be stupid enough to do it again. Don't need AA where I have to 'give up' and say I don't have the power to control it.
Yes I do have the power to control it. Just don't ****ing do it. Do something else, replace that need/want and people you are drinking too much with with other actions and people. It was a choice for me at least.
More so, I'm not trying to spew hatred toward those that might battle with alcoholism like say Mickey Mantle did. Maybe I just haven't witnessed how bad it is for some and I'm sure a poster will come in and respond to this post as though it is ignorance with a story about a family member who is/was going through something far over my head. Maybe I'm being ignorant and rude and condescending. In my personal history and opinion. It's a choice to leave those distractions and actions behind. To choose to not drink, to choose to remove yourself from the situation. If you don't make that choice, it will continue to haunt you and chase you.
The thing that set me off was people saying this means he needs to go to AA. No it doesn't. People said the same damn thing about Miguel Cabrera too a year or two ago when his thing happened.
It doesn't mean anything. It could be a sign, and he obviously needs to make a choice to change. I'm sure jail time will shock the **** out of him.
I was lucky that mine were so many years a part. The second one really grew me up. Huge wake up call. I didn't really learn from the first one. My own stupidity in every way. A lot of friends had one, it was a slap on the wrist in my state. I didn't take it seriously. The second one woke me up. Told me it could become an issue if I let it. So I took control. I never hit anyone, and both times I was close, but barely over the limit (which still seems awfully low to me, but that's another discussion). So I met the states requirements to prove to them I could be sober without issue. And now, several years later today, it's still not an issue. I can choose to be sober. To not drink if I don't want to, and I make that choice. Tonight, my wife will come home after a hellish week and wants to have a bottle of wine and vent her frustrations. I could drink a beer or two. We aren't going anywhere. But I'm going to choose to not drink, or just have one with dinner, because I'm going to let her get drunk if she wants to and because our son is home. So in case anything were to happen I am sober to handle it. It's the adult choice. It's making the adult decision and not putting others at risk. I don't have to drink, it's a choice to drink. Just like it is for everyone, every day. You do not have to drink, you are not powerless to not drink. Just don't. Don't buy the alcohol, don't do it. Find another activity to distract yourself. If you can't drink in moderation and stop, then don't drink at all. That's what I personally struggle the most with. If I have multiple beers. I like to make an event out of it and drink all night. So I'm usually better off just not having that first beer. It's not a big deal.
Maybe all of this is riddled in ignorance. But I went through AA, surrounded by those that were told (and myself) how we were powerless to control our drinking and that we had to turn it over to a higher power.
Bull ****ing ****. Just don't do it. And don't be stupid enough to put others at risk if you are going to drink.
I am forever sorry and apologetic that I ever put anyone at risk because I drank and drove. It's an unforgivable action. Regardless of excuses or explanations. It's not excusable and I'll never do it again and I haven't done it since. For me, it was part of growing up and learning. Everyone is different and I can admit that and I understand that. But AA is a crock of ****, and the way this country goes about DUI's is a bigger joke. There are so many better avenues to actually help and rehabilitate people. And our country doesn't give two ***** about it. They just assume the system will somehow do it for them. And it won't.
The biggest alcoholic I personally know doesn't have a DUI, and has driven home way too many times for it to ever be explainable. But he has learned to handle himself while being drunk well enough and just hasn't been pulled over. Dude is a total alcoholic. Prone to violent mood swings, heavy day drinking, drunk every night. Can barely tell who he is sober. State has no clue he is an alcoholic because he has never been pulled over. Is Mark Grace a bigger alcoholic than this guy? Am I? The state waits for someone to get busted, then slaps them on the wrist and hopes they learn their lesson. A second offense and they try to send them to jail (depending on time frame from their first) and hope that works.
Where is the rehabilitation? Shouldn't this persons family seek it on their own? Would this person ever go?
I hate that just because someone has gotten pulled over for a DUI it means they are an alcoholic. It likely means they are just an idiot. It could mean they are an alcoholic, it could not. It isn't black and white.
Last edited by Jeffy25; 02-01-2013 at 05:02 PM.
^^ superb post.
I got pulled over 10 years ago when I was 17 and blew a .03 in VA. The officer let my sober friend drive the rest of the way home and let me off. The fear of getting a DUI stayed with me forever. I am not an alcoholic. I get drunk 3 nights a week because I work in the industry, have friends in the industry, and spend my life around it.
However, I don't ever drive. I have countless parking tickets and cab receipts that have cost me over $1000 over the last three years. I will never trade them for a DUI. There is no excuse. You have to decide, in your head, when sober, that driving home isnt an option. It has to be a life commitment. You won't make the right choice drunk if you haven already made it sober.
And yea... Just don't do it. It is that easy.
Dude u chit $ call a fuken cab u dumb bastid xD
I don't care who you are, you get drunk behind the wheel, you're putting yourself and others at risk. Hopefully, this guy gets some help.
Jeffy i have never seen you post about something so passionately without including advanced metrics, do you think you could revise it and include maybe wOBA, or wRAA?
But on a more serious note, you brought up so good points, this was the first.
your right, most people who drink and drive are doing it from a bar or club, the cops could patrol the parking lots or parking garages what ever the case may be, and while some might argue it's a waste of police time or resources, have safe streets is never a waste of time, those random check points aren't enough, in 2009 10,000 people died in impaired driving instances.It bothers me that cops will go down the street and wait to pick off drunk drivers from a down town area. Why not just sit out side the bar and give people breathalizers that are considering driving home? No. Because it's a revenue generator. Even though doing it once can cost many people their jobs, and really be a sign of ruin.
My thing is there is an even better way than what you suggested, idk if you had to have one of these devices after either of your DUI's, but their are ignition interlock devices that will be court ordered from time to time in DUI case's i don't know how much they cost, but they should be standard, if they are made standard the number of drunk driving deaths and cases will plummet, and this isn't something that's there to monitor people, or send info back anywhere, just try to prevent as many people as possible from drinking and driving.
Also, while i know there are ways around it, most people either wont know how to do it while drunk or wont care to do it anyway, i know i wouldn't, also, i know these things can't tell if your high off meth or coke or something, but if we could just stop the cases of drinking and driving think of how many peoples lives could be spared.
I do think it would be a little much to make it standard in all cars. Pretty inconvenient if you are hoping in your car to run a quick errand, every time you go to lunch, etc. Just coming and going, heading to get groceries etc. Some people don't even drink at all.
I never had one, so I couldn't tell you. But I'm sure it's a solid deterrent for those that do have drinking problems.
I wonder if he will have a few "slumpbusters" lined up in jail.
It's too bad drunk driving is so much fun.
Last edited by ciaban; 02-02-2013 at 01:46 PM.
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