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Thread: best man speech

  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by gcoll View Post
    Eh. You don't want to make it political. That would make people uncomfortable.


    I mean, that's up to him.
    daddysaysimthebest


    Come to psd where admitted dupes who do nothing but troll the gd and fs forum are free. But man don't you dare mention trolling on someone's wall.

  2. #17
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    Take Jean Ralphio's advice

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNkSHC7JTlE
    Sens Raps Jays

  3. #18
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    Make sure you mention all the floozies he got with when he was engaged to her

  4. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by gcoll View Post
    The advice for this is the same as the advice for anything else.

    When in doubt, whip it out.

    But in general, with a best man speech there's a few key points you always have to hit. Make sure to mention how hot the bride is, no seriously...she's like wicked hot, I'm not kidding. . . if my brother weren't hitting that, trust me I'd be right on it. (that type of thing)

    People really like racist jokes and rape jokes at weddings. A well placed rape joke at a wedding will bring the house down.
    Quote Originally Posted by nessythegreat View Post
    This is getting old. Enough is enough. Redskin Is not offensive and it will never change.
    Quote Originally Posted by Norm View Post
    I want to start a website where people who say this video tape themselves going up to Native Americans and go "hey what's up redskin?" and then upload what happens.

    I'll call it WhatsUpRedskin.com



    You want to go first?
    I fully support this future site.

  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by behindmydesk View Post
    Honest answer coming from a 3 soon to be 4 best man speech (non were my brother's wedding I was relegated to usher for both).
    1. Thank both families for having everyone
    2. Comment on how great the bride looks and how you have loved to get to know her then include there are few things I look forward to in life but one is to getting to know you more and being apart of both of your lives
    3. Say how you met the groom if you aren't related
    4 say a SHORT AND I MEAN FING SHORT funny story about the groom and you being together
    5 give a short and i mean fing short toast

    6 hug the groom and sit the f down.
    I can't stress the short and sweet mantra enough. I've seen more best man speeches ruined by the old, long, not funny, you had to be there stories that people nervously stutter out. I'll also add don't tell the audience you're nervous. It just makes you and everyone else focus on it.

    When I did the best man speech at my brothers wedding I told like 5 really short punch line jokes and it killed. Just like 10 - 15 seconds each and then at the end got serious and just said some nice things about how much I liked the bride and looked forward to spending time with the both of them in the future. People were telling me it was one of the best (best man) speeches they had ever seen and i honestly did nothing special, just didn't bore the audience.

    People want to laugh for a few minutes and then take a leak and grab another drink.

  6. #21
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    Start with: When I first heard my brother was getting married, I said "So what's his name?"

  7. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by chicagocubsfan View Post
    Start with: When I first heard my brother was getting married, I said "So what's his name?"
    Burn!

    That was nice.

    And by the way, those pants, they belong to my dad.And they're not really pants,
    they're Lederhosen



  8. #23
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    Just come from the heart.

    I have done a few.

    A joke I did one time:

    I started off one, where I started off, said my name, said I'm the best man.

    I said 'they often say the best man speech is supposed to take as long as it takes to consummate the marriage' and then I sat down.



    Then got back up and gave a heart felt speech about good times with the groom, and welcoming the bride into the 'family'

    I had another one just a month ago, but for some reason I'm drawing a blank on my joke, and it went over really really well, far better than the first.

    I'll have to ask my wife, I can't believe I have already forgotten it. I came up with it then though, I'll share when I remember/someone tells me.
    Last edited by Jeffy25; 11-15-2012 at 12:10 AM.

  9. #24
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    A buddy of mine is a stand-up comedian on weekends only, and he did an awesome one about the three words that women say that they don't actually mean


    'I'm fine'

    'Do I look fat?'

    'Yeah, you can go'

    He brought down the house with jokes how those weren't what they really meant.

    But he is already married. But he is also a really good joke teller on his own.

    If you are really desperate for ideas, you can find some good ones on youtube. But make it personalized obviously.

  10. #25
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    Who the **** has a wedding in December? Wedding season ended weeks ago. Everyone knows that.
    TAKE PRIDE

  11. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueJayFanDan View Post
    Who the **** has a wedding in December? Wedding season ended weeks ago. Everyone knows that.
    Waiting for the next wedding season to bite, eh?

    And by the way, those pants, they belong to my dad.And they're not really pants,
    they're Lederhosen



  12. #27
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    I can't wait until this day.

    My longtime buddy is so close to marriage, and I have so much garbage on him. I will not hold back one bit, and especially since he is a prick of a baseball fan. I will be genuine and all that Crap, but I'm going to unleash the floodgates. I want to be as sober as a child, and make sure I ****ing leave the microphone hot and abused once I finish up the speech.

    Jint. I don't know you or your friend. I can't help you...

  13. #28
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    dick in a box?
    30 Team Stadium Checklist: 10 to go

    1) Yankees 2) Orioles 3) Rays 4) Red Sox 5) Mets 6) Braves 7) Phillies 8) Nationals 9) Marlins 10) Pirates 11) Padres 12) Astros 13) Mariners 14) Twins 15) Cubs 16) White Sox 17) Cardinals 18) Indians 19) Tigers 20) Royals

  14. #29
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    ewing

    Quote Originally Posted by Jint. View Post
    so my older brother is getting married in a few weeks and me and his buddy are the best men.

    I was the best man at my buddys wedding a few years back and did a good job.. but Im drawing a blank on what to say this time..

    any advice or help ?

    Make fun of the token black in his social set. Don't even mention his bride.
    Last edited by ewing; 11-15-2012 at 08:31 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raps08-09 Champ View Post
    My dick is named 'Ewing'.

  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jerry34 View Post
    I can't stress the short and sweet mantra enough. I've seen more best man speeches ruined by the old, long, not funny, you had to be there stories that people nervously stutter out. I'll also add don't tell the audience you're nervous. It just makes you and everyone else focus on it.

    When I did the best man speech at my brothers wedding I told like 5 really short punch line jokes and it killed. Just like 10 - 15 seconds each and then at the end got serious and just said some nice things about how much I liked the bride and looked forward to spending time with the both of them in the future. People were telling me it was one of the best (best man) speeches they had ever seen and i honestly did nothing special, just didn't bore the audience.

    People want to laugh for a few minutes and then take a leak and grab another drink.
    Yup I've seen countless ones go on and on about stories that no one was apart of and you just sit there and go wow will this end.

    The man that was the best man in my wedding was great because he said 2 things about us. Said we first became friends in highschool when we had 4 classes together remind you BMD was a year ahead of me.

    Then said the thing I will always remember most is sitting on BMD's porch when he moved out on friday nights cooking out and having some beers. One time he used spoiled milk in the mashed potato's I ate it because it was just like mom used to make (His parents because he's my best friend were in attendance of my wedding)


    Come to psd where admitted dupes who do nothing but troll the gd and fs forum are free. But man don't you dare mention trolling on someone's wall.

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