: ** 1/2
: Goof size for a guard, but undersized for a forward. A cerebral player who lacks obvious athleticism, and whose only skill seems to be trash talking, at which he is quite effective, and very funny when he is not saying inappropriate things. Player clearly understands the game, but seem unable to translate his knowledge into timely, effective, or even coordinated body movements during a game. A low percentage shooter from nearly every location on the court, and has perhaps the easiest shot to block we have ever seen. This is not all bad because, according to the media guide, Player has a higher shooting percentage on shots that have been partially blocked than he does uncontested layups.
Player clearly favors is right hand, and not just for dribbling (if his off the court reputation is accurate). Was unable to observe player crossing the time-line, passing or dribbling (without staring at the ball) in the 127 minutes he was observed. It appeared from the first two games that Player had a hearing problem, but later learned he was just ignoring fellow players, officials, and the coaching staff. On a single occasion, and for an admittedly short period of time, Player brought a second ball onto the court and shot the ball (poorly) at his own basket until the quarter ended.
Player his a nearly pathological distaste for human contact and smaller players. Whenever player is touched by a male player under 5' 8", he invariably screams an obscenity followed by the word midget or dwarf. Player's entourage, or "posse" generally follows suit in yelling "hate, hate, hate, hate, hate..." and harassing anyone that touches or tries to defend Player. Player clearly has a deep seated pathology towards small people, authority, and buttered noodles (do NOT offer or even inquire about buttered noodles).
Player's interview was interrupted by the presentation of a contract (written in purple crayon and titled "KAHNTRACK") demanding $50,000 cash, and a Pontiac Fiero before he will sign a letter of intent. Player also produced a series of photos of Coach +++++++++ski in a compromising position.
Offer player full scholarship, and cash but not the Fiero.