There have been some bizarre baseball players since the history of time. Wow, what a first sentence that was. But hey, just a reminder that I don't get paid to do this. That being said, Cool "hand" Luke of the Dayton Dragons, perhaps one of the most interesting stories in the league. The 2'9, 224 pound meatball is one that really makes you question the possibilities of the human anatomy. The funny thing? He's actually kinda okay. At 18 years old, the (little/big?) guy does have his handicaps - for instance, he can throw only around 88 miles per hour probably due to the fact that he lacks a windup due to the inconvenience of not having any measurable lower body, plus, he plays for Itztheshiznits. As made notice, there is an awful lot of mountain to climb when you're in that kind of situation. Luckily, Luke was born with persistence of steel (the fact that he's somehow alive proves that), and an undying love for the game. But where did he get the desire to play baseball? It all started when he was 8 years old, way back in 2020. Due to his height, he was often picked on in school, and he spent a lot of time in front of the television. Well, he found baseball appealing apparently due to it's length and his ability to focus on it for a long period of time without having to move. This made learning the game, and eventually playing it much easier. He joined his high school baseball team a few years later, and shocked hitters with his shocking velocity for his height, and at the time, age (his 88 mph on his fastball has not changed since). News spread quickly quickly around the league, and he soon had major league scouts coming to his baseball games. He now finds himself in the Reds' farm system, probably wishing he could be on the Astros, or any other team for that matter. He's over-come a lot, and not just the obvious disabilities his unfortunate development has left him under, but hundreds of puns and nicknames, from "Stubby" to "Torso-boy", and it just goes to show that size really matters not. Woo! That went well. I am a great journalist.
Also, being the grader, I'll just go ahead and give myself 6 points for this one unless there are any objections.