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  1. #1
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    Apr 2009
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    Asking for her father's blessing?

    Need some advice from the PSD brain trust, and I know personal questions go over well on here so....

    Im getting to the point where I am thinking about proposing to the old lady. I have had a ring for a while, and have been waiting for the perfect opportunity to do it. I think that opportunity will be presenting itself this weekend. Was talking to my friend about it, and he asked if I had asked her dad for his blessing... I havent, and I didnt even know that was still a thing?

    So, I guess im looking for opinions on this. Is it disrespectful not to ask? Is it worth passing up a perfect opportunity to pop the question to make sure I cover this base? Are there any other factors Im not considering?

  2. #2
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    Jul 2008
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    I was married for 8 years, with my ex-wife for 12 total. I asked her father. I plan on looking for a ring for my current gf/mother of my child, in the next few months. I will be asking her Dad for sure.

    It's disrespectful, imo, if she has a good relationship with her father, and you don't ask for his blessing. You don't have to ask her immediately after asking him or anything, but yeah, I would if I were you. It shows respect.

    Fathers are responsible for protecting their kids, and especially daughters even as adults, and it's a big deal to many men to "give away" their daughter to someone, who basically assumes responsibility for their safety, etc.

    Yes, you should ask, imho

    If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It's not tragic to die doing what you love.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    Coventry RI
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    2,380

    Asking for her father's blessing?

    Be a man and ask the man to marry his little girl. I did it last year getting married in October. It's old school but you get props and respect. My girls father was surprised and didn't know people still did it. I did it out of respect for him and still get love from it.


    Some old school things need to be enforced and this is one of them
    One More Time

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    Bethlehem
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    I'm not married but when I do I have all intentions to ask her dad for his daughter's hand. It's a respect thing. If/when I ask my gf, I'm actually going to ask her father and her aunt since she's insanely close with her aunt.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack of Blades View Post
    I don't consider Brand New indie. I consider them ****ing awesome and don't belong to a genre.

  5. #5
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    Aug 2009
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    It depends on a lot of things I guess. Where I live in Kansas City, it is very common still. Places in the Midwest and South generally practice it. Other parts of the country probably not, but still shows a lot of respect.

    Some girls won't even say yes unless you have their fathers blessing. Some families may not have an issue with it, but overall it should be done. I know my sister's best friend from college didn't do it, but he's very Millennial. Most of my friend's asked their girlfriend/now wife's dads for their blessing.

  6. #6
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    Apr 2009
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    Damn. Not what I was hoping the feedback would be. Not because I have a problem asking the guy for his blessing. Just because the opportunity I have coming up this weekend is so good and I hate to have to pass it up. Her dad lives hours away, so I wont have time to get down there and ask. It also just makes it hard in general to get time alone with him. Guess I will have to come up with some sort of strategy. thanks

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Milwaukee, WI for some reason.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jojo30 View Post
    Damn. Not what I was hoping the feedback would be. Not because I have a problem asking the guy for his blessing. Just because the opportunity I have coming up this weekend is so good and I hate to have to pass it up. Her dad lives hours away, so I wont have time to get down there and ask. It also just makes it hard in general to get time alone with him. Guess I will have to come up with some sort of strategy. thanks
    If distance is an issue and you genuinely have no idea when your next opportunity to even see the guy will come, you can pick up the phone and give him a jingle. I don't think that'd be uncouth, given those type of circumstances.


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
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    San Francisco, CA
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    33,305
    It's not a requirement, but I think it's a nice touch and they'll probably think even more highly of you.

    I plan on doing this when it's my time.

  9. #9
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    Apr 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by jojo30 View Post
    Damn. Not what I was hoping the feedback would be. Not because I have a problem asking the guy for his blessing. Just because the opportunity I have coming up this weekend is so good and I hate to have to pass it up. Her dad lives hours away, so I wont have time to get down there and ask. It also just makes it hard in general to get time alone with him. Guess I will have to come up with some sort of strategy. thanks
    Like TA3 said, I think its reasonable to call him and ask since distance seems to be an issue and you don't want to pass up a perfect situation.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    4,381
    To the OP,

    Opportunities will always present themselves. But ask the "Man", respect is mandatory in this case. You make that drive and still pull it off this weekend and you will be legend in the family.

    He might give you an answer like my (RIP) father in law did; 'what if I say no?" Lol. But got to do it brother.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
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    48,571
    Quote Originally Posted by TRIUMPHATOR View Post
    To the OP,

    Opportunities will always present themselves. But ask the "Man", respect is mandatory in this case. You make that drive and still pull it off this weekend and you will be legend in the family.

    He might give you an answer like my (RIP) father in law did; 'what if I say no?" Lol. But got to do it brother.
    This, find a way to make both happen at the same time.

    In my opinion, it completely depends on the family and the girl.

    I asked (about to propose in a couple of weeks myself, so congrats!). I knew it would be expected in her traditional family, and her father would expect it. So I did several months ago, and he was thrilled. So that was awesome. He and I already have a close relationship any way.

    I also took her brother out for drinks, not really for permission, but it's her only brother and he's older and I thought it would be respectful to him.


    I will expect any man that wants to marry my daughter to ask for my blessing. I wouldn't be as fond of a man that wouldn't think to do it honestly.

    But that's sort of my expectations and the way I was raised any way.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
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    48,571
    Quote Originally Posted by jojo30 View Post
    Need some advice from the PSD brain trust, and I know personal questions go over well on here so....

    Im getting to the point where I am thinking about proposing to the old lady. I have had a ring for a while, and have been waiting for the perfect opportunity to do it. I think that opportunity will be presenting itself this weekend. Was talking to my friend about it, and he asked if I had asked her dad for his blessing... I havent, and I didnt even know that was still a thing?

    So, I guess im looking for opinions on this. Is it disrespectful not to ask? Is it worth passing up a perfect opportunity to pop the question to make sure I cover this base? Are there any other factors Im not considering?
    Worse case, you can always call. I had a brother-in-law that called my dad because they lived so far away. I would at least do that at the very least.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    51,880
    If you know he'll say yes, then ask. If he is not warm to the idea, then **** him and do not ask.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
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    The Manhattan, NYC
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    27,932
    Quote Originally Posted by jojo30 View Post
    Need some advice from the PSD brain trust, and I know personal questions go over well on here so....

    Im getting to the point where I am thinking about proposing to the old lady. I have had a ring for a while, and have been waiting for the perfect opportunity to do it. I think that opportunity will be presenting itself this weekend. Was talking to my friend about it, and he asked if I had asked her dad for his blessing... I havent, and I didnt even know that was still a thing?

    So, I guess im looking for opinions on this. Is it disrespectful not to ask? Is it worth passing up a perfect opportunity to pop the question to make sure I cover this base? Are there any other factors Im not considering?
    Unlike in the olden days, it's not a requirement. It is, however, a tradition that goes back 5 billion years. It's not disrespectful not to do it, but doing it show huge respect for family values. I say do it.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    11,699
    "I've been pounding your daughter for X amount of years, do you mind if I shut her up by giving her a ring?"

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