Take Jean Ralphio's advice
Make sure you mention all the floozies he got with when he was engaged to her
When I did the best man speech at my brothers wedding I told like 5 really short punch line jokes and it killed. Just like 10 - 15 seconds each and then at the end got serious and just said some nice things about how much I liked the bride and looked forward to spending time with the both of them in the future. People were telling me it was one of the best (best man) speeches they had ever seen and i honestly did nothing special, just didn't bore the audience.
People want to laugh for a few minutes and then take a leak and grab another drink.
Start with: When I first heard my brother was getting married, I said "So what's his name?"
Just come from the heart.
I have done a few.
A joke I did one time:
I started off one, where I started off, said my name, said I'm the best man.
I said 'they often say the best man speech is supposed to take as long as it takes to consummate the marriage' and then I sat down.
Then got back up and gave a heart felt speech about good times with the groom, and welcoming the bride into the 'family'
I had another one just a month ago, but for some reason I'm drawing a blank on my joke, and it went over really really well, far better than the first.
I'll have to ask my wife, I can't believe I have already forgotten it. I came up with it then though, I'll share when I remember/someone tells me.
A buddy of mine is a stand-up comedian on weekends only, and he did an awesome one about the three words that women say that they don't actually mean
'Do I look fat?'
'Yeah, you can go'
He brought down the house with jokes how those weren't what they really meant.
But he is already married. But he is also a really good joke teller on his own.
If you are really desperate for ideas, you can find some good ones on youtube. But make it personalized obviously.
Who the **** has a wedding in December? Wedding season ended weeks ago. Everyone knows that.
I can't wait until this day.
My longtime buddy is so close to marriage, and I have so much garbage on him. I will not hold back one bit, and especially since he is a prick of a baseball fan. I will be genuine and all that Crap, but I'm going to unleash the floodgates. I want to be as sober as a child, and make sure I ****ing leave the microphone hot and abused once I finish up the speech.
Jint. I don't know you or your friend. I can't help you...
dick in a box?
The man that was the best man in my wedding was great because he said 2 things about us. Said we first became friends in highschool when we had 4 classes together remind you BMD was a year ahead of me.
Then said the thing I will always remember most is sitting on BMD's porch when he moved out on friday nights cooking out and having some beers. One time he used spoiled milk in the mashed potato's I ate it because it was just like mom used to make (His parents because he's my best friend were in attendance of my wedding)